heaven of squiggles

2010-05-02T17:28:00.003+08:00

hooray! i've moved! to wordpress! :D

2010-04-25T19:10:00.002+08:00

If it's(science and technology) not doing for us what we want, we have a right and a responsibility to change it. Increasingly we have been conditioned to believe that we should change ourselves to suit the technology, and it's been done in all sorts of
subtle ways.
Mike Cooley

2010-04-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

i find it hard to commit to a new blog.

as technology advances,

2010-04-25T16:48:00.001+08:00

we get more and more research type of homework. and it sucks because google's not a PERSON-walking encyclopedia so we dont get results that we want resulting in ahlf a day gone just to research on ONE BLOODY TOPIC we dont quite give a shit about. AND it results in myopia, maybe singapore should reflect on why it has an increasing number of myopia cases in young children?

and the sight of people below 10 using mobile phones is such an eyesore.

if you say "technology makes me smile", i say "technology makes me smile makes me cry"

2010-04-25T16:46:00.000+08:00

the blog's gone. i didnt even notice.

poof.

was that the url? if i didnt remember wrong. but my memory's failing me. i'd better go play some memory games. but in my faintest memory i saw the blog somewhere.. after it was "replaced". that skin is still so vivid in my mind.

maybe if we look at ourselves as someone else, we'd like ourselves better.

it's scary how two year's gonna pass just like that. much difference between these 2 same days.

2010-04-20T20:56:00.004+08:00

some things that can save the environment:

1. have short hair. saves shampoo and conditioner. and water.

2. write small. saves pen ink and plastic and paper.

the cup of enlightenment

2010-04-20T19:51:00.006+08:00

the next time you drink plain water, look thru the water at the solid thing below your bottle, or the bottom of your cup.

what do you see?

the solid thing below your bottle, or the bottom of your cup.

exactly!

that only shows how transparent and how clean our water is. almost nothing is as clear as clean drinking water.

today i was drinking plain water from an opaque beige colored cup during dinner. and then it striked me how clear the bottom of the cup looked. as if there was no water between my eyes and the bottom of the cup. only the water made the bottom of the cup look even prettier. and then i started staring at the crystal clear water. i think crystal clear is not a good way of describing transparent things because crystal is certainly not the most transparent thing. but really, the clarity of the bottom of the cup was exactly what astounded me. and at the sight of the bottom of the cup, it was as if a stone hit my head and it got me thinking and realizing what i had never realized before. i realized that water looked so beautiful in its purest state, and i realized that south africans in kwazulu-natal, limpopo and eastern cape may not have such sparkling water to drink. not as 0.0001% as cheezy as it sounds, we're fortunate to have such nice clean water to drink. even to look at. i could just look at that cup of water for the entire day thinking about so many things and appreciating nature.

and i must thank mayxin for bringing me that cup of plain water because i had wanted to drink cordial if she hadnt already taken a drink for me.

although it's just PLAIN water, looking normal and boring, it had sure made a lot of difference for me. and i think everyone else who have access to such clean water should not take it for granted too. sometimes the thing that touches you most is the simplest and most common thing. it's just that we are SO CAUGHT UP WITH USELESS THINGS IN LIFE SUCH AS SOLVING MATH PROBLEMS to notice its presence and to feel its beauty.

the cup of enlightenment.

2010-04-14T17:04:00.003+08:00

aish. some teachers dislike me. i just know it. they dislike me because they think i am defiant. they think i am irresponsible. well, over certain things that doesnt matter to me, yeah. and they also think i have a bad bad attitude of can't be bothered-ness.

but those are not wholly true. it's not like i've never put in effort and tried math you know. i did, but it's against me, and i dont beg for it to like me because it doesnt appeal to me in the least sense, so i just let it be. okay, cant be bothered, sure. but not without reason.

and yeah they think i like to go against the politically right way of answering things and doing things when the truth is, WHEN ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION, arent we supposed to say the truth?

and i know two of them thinks im so not hardworking. copying IS effective. esp if you intend to mug and cram like mad all your notes before exams. yeah. because i just cant learn anything in the school terms.

and when you want to say i dont try, think again. because i am the one who's been asking questions all the while, TILL I AM SO AFRAID OF ASKING ANYMORE QUESTIONS NOW. i am afraid i will annoy the teacher.

why am i bothering to prove other people wrong?

i'd totally love to put MORE work into my coursework, under the circumstance that I DO NOT NED TO TAKE ANY OTHER SUBJECTS BESIDES AEP.

and what's the big deal? yeah, i am asking this even after you said we ought not think it's not a big deal. BECAUSE, for heaven's sake, the school didnt mention it, and WHY are we SUPPOSED to know what to do when the school didnt say anything?? and even if we didnt know, or are not smart enough to know, once we moved the tables, wouldnt it be problem solved? WHY GO AND COMPLAIN TO OUR TEACHERS AND CAUSING US AVE TWO LECTURES ON THE SAME MATTER??

honestly, really honestly, i rather be independent.

who treats others like that? now i know, you.

and exactly because you say different people have different preferences, why must we follow YOUR preference? okay, i am feeling bad bitching about you because you didnt give up on me even though i sounded so determined. sorry.

but i was really pissed at how it was against me.

anyway, everyone hates me.

i just need to vent. after knowing i ought to do so many things for aep. AND i hevtn studied for geography. AND IH.

but i know everyone hates me. dont deny it. you do. i am not forcing you to, but you do.

2010-04-13T20:46:00.002+08:00

when we enjoy something, we just want it to continue on, or hope for more and more, without really appreciating the thing itself.

and that's how we drive commercialism, and materialism.

and that's why the world is scary. because we keep wanting more and more of things that we enjoy but dont even appreciate. did u watch cloudy with a chance of meatballs? if you did then you'll get what i mean. at first it sounded nice, having food falling from the skies. but soon after, human's greed for only more and more caused it to end up in nothing but a disaster.

yeah and many times i find i write things which end up meaning nothing at all. because everything is built on the basis that humans want survival. but then after, my mind will tell my thoughts that no one ever said they wanted survival, which is only MY viewpoint that the world might be better without humans.my thoughts tricked my mind into thinking something that is not true. okay nvm.

anyway, the point is, many things i write end up being meaningless.

2010-04-13T20:25:00.003+08:00

it's so funny. when she scolded us, we were all quiet and listening. then once in the toilet, we started cursing and slamming doors. and returning looking quite normal once again.

you know, pubic hair's so annoying. esp the down there one. and once, while i was showering, one strand was on my finger, and i tried to wash it off with the water, but it just wouldnt get washed away, and it just stick to your finger like a glued piece of paper, and i was thinking, damn it, even my HEAD hair doesnt have this problem.

and i hate math.

i hope to take h1 math and h1 physics and be an architect. is it possible? cuz i really dont think i cant stand learning this standard math and physics for another 2 years.

they called me defiant. thank them so much.

OH OH! I LIKE THE RAIN NOW!! it's SO DAMN WINDY here! ther windows are open and can hear the sound of the almost literally POURING rain. LOVELY.

and our napfa today was a complete anti-climax.

2010-04-09T12:47:00.002+08:00

i have no number sense.

2010-04-04T16:14:00.002+08:00

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE TO DO FOR MATH SIA??!

dont even FIND an math article. reflection? i learnt that there's no such thing as math articles, only science articles.

2010-04-04T10:05:00.001+08:00

phineas: do i know romance or what!
isabella: what.
phineas: i just said do i-
isabella: yeah, i heard you.

HAHAHAHA

2010-04-03T19:24:00.001+08:00

the practicality of learning math?

just ask yourself, what are the chances of anyone needing to ln 5(15) - 28 divide by sin 61 ?

2010-04-03T19:15:00.000+08:00

ng eng teng's name is a matter of adding e's and t to his surname.

2010-03-31T15:59:00.003+08:00

so i foresee that i will most oftenly be posting a lot every twice in a week- the weekend. this scientist rachel carson is so cool. opne of her books lead to a nationwide banning ot DDTs and other harmful pesticides in USA. AND, she's probably homo. she's so cool.

oh well. i should get back soon lest mr chang gets too angry at me for slacking. I NEED TO FIND WOOD BLOCK DAMN.

2010-03-26T16:06:00.003+08:00

had this sudden surge of feeling that it was home.

and speaking of surge of feeling, the speech was so crap. it was minimized to less than one minute when it was to be more than 2 minutes. so many things had to be left out so sad ):

anyway. i think the view from the podium is really less breath-taking than what we would expect. u know, breath taking is a pun cuz from there u cant see the WHOLE of the school population at once cuz the quadrangle is too wide, so the view is not like majestic cuz we think from there we can see the whole school. and because not so many people is in view, therefore it is also not so scary.

sheesh. i fang qi so many homework last night to do the script. and then today i got like so many things that i need to do. its really frustrating.

but now they're all done and therefore i am looking forward to dinner later. but not the concert which will be so cold, and most likely boring since i am not a music person. i really suck at all sorts of music stuff. sheesh. no way am i joining co in jc. even if it means i'll be playing sheng for the last time in my life this july. such a rare instrument. haha.

anyway.

yeah. that's all. math is demanding. really demanding.

2010-03-25T22:57:00.002+08:00

have you ever had such a good idea in the night but only to wake up the next morning thinking your idea last night was so foolish you would never execute it.

im feeling like that now. just that it seems like i have woken up already. but i cant give up NOW! i dont want to do this because i have nothing much to say. and there is not better way to express. and i do not like to plainly say something without expressing it because then it would be boring. i am getting so sick of my own work.

but i cant give up now.

sheesh.

2010-03-25T21:49:00.002+08:00

the countdown on earth hour website is so cool. next year i want to have one on my blog. i will suggest they give the code for the countdown.

oh wait i think there's a widget. oh well nvm.

sheesh. so many things to do these 2 days. burned out. hopefully it'll be less tiring after this week. must start mugging if i want to reach my goals.

2010-03-24T21:10:00.003+08:00

OH MY WINDOWS JOURNAL.

I LOVE WINDOWS JOURNAL.

IT ACTUALLY FITS ON A4 SIZE!

IT'S PERFEFCT!!!!! WHO'D'VE THOUGHT??

IT'S PERFECT! nothing in my life has ever been so perfect!!!

SO HAPPY NOW. i finished the letter to police, proposal AND appendix. within three hours.

feel so efficient and accomplished. had to refrain from going other websites while researching for the letter.

I FEEL SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha these three days many similar (HAPPY) things happen to different people. FOR EXAMPLE, both me and meizhen got our thing approved on on monday and tuesday. and today, both jingting and i feels happy for not being distracted while doing work. it's so cool!

haha seeing i still have 2 other things to do, i will go have my dinner now. shall learn from linsha and wake up at 4:30 to study for chem quiz. i am so determined to sleep earlier now. all thanks to linsha's inspiring habit. haha

2010-03-23T19:52:00.003+08:00

"how was bicultural programme?" ?

what the hell. i didnt even KNOW we were all in that programme. it's quite a failure.

-

i find what Jan said to be very true: it's too ambitious to assume science is everything. (on the existence of God)

-

2010-03-22T22:26:00.003+08:00

i most certainly believe that "green technology" is an oxymoron.

-

to be one. not many.

different, but one.

2010-03-21T15:00:00.002+08:00

MY GOSH SO COOL SO COOL! it' sraining heavily and there's strong winds and my window has a gap and i hear the wind sounds and it sounds like a tornado!! i was wondering where the hell the sound came ffrom i thought the wind outside was erally so strong.

2010-03-21T09:39:00.002+08:00

pretending to be strong is part of becoming stronger. or so i believe.

a few more things:

1. i bet when mr chang knew that he was gonna be a teacher in nanyang he thought it was such a big joke.

2. humans will never be as good as birds in terms of having shorter travel time.

2010-03-20T23:08:00.001+08:00

actually, i realized that no matter how much you try to cherish something, you'll always feel you never cherished it enough, and you'll always end up feeling empty. and regretful. and we'll only end up missing those times. is that how humans are wired? tell me yes so i can get over it.

when you're not on the internet you probably dont have so many things you wanna do. but the moment you go onto the internet you realize there's a zillion and one things you wanna do. suddenly, a name appears on facebook and we go "OH! i havent seen her in a long time i shall go see her photos" and the next moment we're on ebay in the other tab and we see a cute/pretty thing an we go "OH that looks nice!" and we end up surfing ebay and then later something pops into our mind and we go "OH! i'm to check my email for something!" and we log in to check, and then in the midst of checking emails we come aross another interesting mail and we open that instead and read it and 'OH! that seems interesting i'll go look" and press on the link and THAT's how we get distracted with a zillion and one things to do.

haha.

and now the only reason why im not feeling too guilty for using computer at this hour is that i have to transfer photos and since i have to wait i might as well be here.

i think that most of us are living too unhealthy lives such as sleeping too late. go on facebook in the afternoon or morning or noon. 6 people online. check again at 11pm. 30 people online. the same for msn. what's happening to us!!? NO WONDER we're all tired and stuff.

2010-03-19T12:41:00.004+08:00

please dont hit my head against the glass of reality. i will shatter.

2010-03-19T12:41:00.003+08:00

ki is not easy.

2010-03-17T21:32:00.002+08:00

I GOT MY SHIRT!!!! EARTH HOUR SHIRT!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOO!!!!!!

2010-03-17T21:31:00.002+08:00

also, yesterday night, i realized that fantasizing about someone doesnt necessarily mean liking her.

2010-03-17T21:29:00.003+08:00

joke of the day!!! (yesterday)

a: but i have a DYING DESIRE to know!!

b: oh, really, then let's wait for it to die first.

HAHA FUNNY RIGHT!! it's original!

2010-03-15T22:59:00.001+08:00

Who’s to say what’s proper? If everyone decided that wearing a codfish on your head were proper, would you wear one? To me a corset is like a codfish.

2010-03-15T18:50:00.001+08:00

i have the weirdest reason why i dont wanna go NUS, or at least said my dad.

2010-03-15T16:34:00.003+08:00

don't think so much and you'll be fine.

-

it seems like ytd that we were at suntec city and received a call regarding the return ticket and had to walk all the way to some weird ulu building in an attempt to get a last minute air ticket.

and three months, no, nearly four months passed. and so many things happened in between it's hard to imagine it's really been so long.

it's scary, yeah.

this is the first time i'm using "warped" to describe this odd out-of-earth experience of time. it's so abstract and it makes me feel unreal. thinking about it, the facebook group "2009 went by ridiculously fast"'s photo of a warped clock is a very good representation of my feeling right now. it feels like we've been launched into some machine, something like a washing machine- where you're the only so-called conscious thing, and everything going around us and we're half conscious witnessing everything that's going by, but not really fully experiencing any of it. it feels just like that.

and i really wish i could just step out of that machine and immerse myself in the reality outside and just breathe. yeah, you know, breathe?

2010-03-13T21:10:00.000+08:00

no you don't.

and you never did.

and you wouldn't ever.

sorry.

2010-03-13T17:32:00.001+08:00

s'pore is as small as a spore.

2010-03-12T22:20:00.003+08:00

THE DELIGHT AT RECEIVING HER LETTER!! it seems so surreal once again! all the way from australia!

2010-03-12T20:39:00.000+08:00

VAT19 really has the most awesome products ever!!!

2010-03-12T19:58:00.003+08:00

but how do photos prove our existence?
and how do they prove our life is not a dream?

because you see, we could easily be made to believe we saw photos of ourselves.

2010-03-12T14:14:00.003+08:00

i realize teachers have to be a lot of things. they have to be emcees, traffic police, firefighters, moms and dads, security guards, police on patrol, counsellors, first aiders. it's so cool.

2010-03-12T14:04:00.001+08:00

i'd rather go for boring workshops than face the agony of schoolwork.

):

2010-03-08T21:54:00.003+08:00

OH OH!
describing alice in wonderland in 2 words: surreally disturbing.

and seriously, tim burton ALWAYS get johnny depp to do the coolest roles. it's quite cute really.

2010-03-08T20:53:00.001+08:00

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF FACING BUSY AND STRESSED PEOPLE.

yeah that includes myself.

2010-03-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

...
....
.....

2010-03-08T20:14:00.001+08:00

too fast for its own good.

2010-03-07T15:26:00.002+08:00

the teachers say "we'll continue with that after the holidays" as if there is no holiday.

maybe that's what you get when your block tests are after the holidays, there is no proper closure to whatever you're learning in term 1. it stops abruptly and it's to be continued.

anyway, there IS no holiday so the teachers are right in a sense.

2010-03-07T15:00:00.001+08:00

but it was really sweet, back then.

2010-03-07T00:21:00.001+08:00

it was only not long ago that i thought word 2007 was new and all that. but it's already 2010 now and i wont be surprised to see word 2010 coming into existence this year.

2010-03-07T00:12:00.002+08:00

And if you tell me, I don’t give a damn about survival, then all I can say is “you are the one who was fussing all over the place about survival.”

2010-03-06T23:38:00.002+08:00

until now, i have not personally met a appear-to-be-like-human creature who deserves to be called a human.

and it is very sad.

2010-03-06T23:04:00.004+08:00

no, i am not sad over the fact that we will all be wiped out soon.

i am thoroughly disappointed with ourselves. because our inability to do something about climate change shows just how much percentage human we are.

it shows us that most of us are 0% human.

and 100% machine.

i realized how disappointed i was with copenhagen climate change conference 2009. do we care about the environment? sure we do. but money still comes first. at this point in time, i really cant express how much i hate the concept of money.

if there was no money, no one would be starving.

if there was no money, technological advancements would not have been possible. but humans will human.

we're all machines. but the difference between me and you (and i have in mind a specific you) is that i WANT and TRY to be human but you don't want to be a human and can't be bothered with what exactly you are- machine or human.

and i wonder how i live with you.

it's so funny. it's satirical. the cities which first grew thanks to the sea will first be destroyed by the sea. this is so smart.

and i do not believe in the concept of money. i believe HUMANS WOULD HAVE lived better with another concept. dont ask me what concept, i wouldnt know, seeing i'm here, a survival of the money-concepted-world. but i BELIEVE innately there IS a way to function WITHOUT money. if u demand an answer, it would be just as ridiculous as me asking christians to scientifically prove the existence of their God and SHOW it to all of us.

well.

and don't think everything else has nothing to do with this. as we have a bigger population, we will need MORE FOOD, MORE CLOTHES, MORE LIGHT, MORE WATER. all of which came from? EARTH. so the equation goes, as the population increases, the resources needed increases. DUH IT LEADS TO ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEM.

AND I FUCKING DO NOT BELIEVE IN BUYING RANDOM BIRTHDAY PRESENTS FOR PEOPLE ANYMORE NO FUCKING WAY BECAUSE IT DOES NOTHING BUT ADD WASTE TO THE PERSON'S HOUSE AND WASTE RESOURCES.

don't BUY things just cuz OH IT'S SO CUTE, OH IT'S SO PRETTY, OH IT'S SO SHINY.

YEAH AND I FUCKING WON'T TAKE ECONS IN JC more like i will learn HOW TO DISRUPT ECONOMY.

even though they in fact are idealistic, i still love how they are so full of hope and so optimistic. it's really touching to know such people exists. yeah, because in my life i interact with way too much machines so remember the existence of machine-like humans who're trying their best to still be humans.

and you know WHAT. WE are the BIGGEST CULPRITS because WE possess more intellect and WE will most likely end up as someone with some position in the future and it's most likely US (NOT ME BUT YOU GUYS) that will direct a company and churn out money and everything economy-friendly.

i DO NOT think that money and economy go together with survival.

seriously, IF YOU WANT SURVIVAL, THAT IS WHAT YOU GODDAMN NEED, NOT MONEY.

because when there's no money, no one will bother about money.

our species is SO SCREWED. we are a goddamn failure of God's experiments. our greed had driven us to exchange TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS with our OWN HUMANITY do you SEE THAT? WHAT ARE WE?? we're BEASTS! in fact, we're WORSE THAN BEASTS. because in order for US to not become cannibalists, we have forced POLAR BEARS to eat its own kind.

2010-03-05T20:58:00.004+08:00

i need to plan my time carefully:

i shouldnt waste time in the toilet. because going to the toilet is an extreme waste of time because it stops us from spending the time more wisely such as doing homework. thus toilet time should be significantly reduced so as to maximize time.

i should stop playing the piano. because practice takes up a lot of time and practicing the piano wont do me any good because i am not heading for a diploma in piano so having the ability to play a piece on the piano is extremely useless. since i am not headed to become a pianist, i should not waste any more precious time on the piano.

i should stop wasting time thinking. because thinking is nothing good and all its products are useless statements, thoughts and stupid ideas. also, thinking takes up a lot of time because more often than not we got to think about both sides to an issue and the brain takes some time to generate ideas and thoughts so it's best to not think at all, and just do instead, so that we dont waste time and use the time to do something that is of value instead.

i should stop wasting time feeling. because it takes emotions to feel and it takes time for emotions to build up. and feeling is also extremely useless because it does not help us at all in our work as our work do not require any feelings. so to feel is to sidetrack and waste time since it does not contribute to our work in any sense. the ability to feel should not have been given to humans in the first place because feeling do not produce anything that is of marketing value and we should not work on anything that does not produce anything of market value because it does not benefit the human kind in any way and thus is a waste of space and should be eliminated.

(here you are.)

2010-03-04T19:43:00.004+08:00

sitting on the toilet i felt breeze on my butt. so shuang.

the last time i felt breeze on my butt was last year in taiwan when i go to toilet in fudan. it wasnt breeze actually, it was CHILLING.

haha what a post on breezes on butts.

2010-03-03T19:03:00.005+08:00

AEP WAS FUN(NY)!!!!!

i always love aep man. it's so unserious and we get to talk and joke a lot with dear 201 people and we have nice teachers who arent strict about rules and all. all in all, aep's really cool with all the people.

and that's what makes me dread jc. okay partially. because we wont have aep class tgt anymore. and it's really sad because i'll miss all the fun times we had during aep.

):

yeah i probably shouldnt worry so much.

-

anyway, if you're a two one-er who's reading this, MEET AT TRACK FRIDAY MORNING! for a class gathering, if you're going to ask what we're gonna do.

oh and dont you think the old people this morning were more energetic than we are? it's so darn saddening! we're worse off than old people. lol. but really, this reflects our society well i think. but i was really encouraged by them! it was a good start to the day. (:

AND if you like to read my blog, please support my art coursework! by volunteering yourself for a flash mob! IT'S GONNA BE FUN!!! just imagine standing in orchard road with 50 other people and suddenly turning around and raising up your hand wearing a white glove trying to tell the public to "pause". yeah, it's to express how we as city people are always so busy and have no time to pause, or rest, or think, or whatever you like.

PLEASE SUPPORT! it'll be a very fun and enriching experience (cliche crap but IT'S GONNA BE FUN! bet you never really participated in a flash mob before so TRY IT! and if you go search flash mob on youtube, you'll see many cool videos of flash mobs, and YES YOU'LL HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE PART OF A COOL FLASH MOB IF YOU SIGN UP TO BE A VOLUNTEER!

:D

2010-03-01T21:25:00.001+08:00

projection:

work on IH until 3am.

2010-03-01T19:58:00.002+08:00

i wish i count alphabets instead.

counting makes me calm.

2010-02-28T15:12:00.003+08:00

this is my cool wallpaper.

recently i am getting quite affected by magritte's ceci n'est pas une pipe.

2010-02-28T15:05:00.002+08:00

i now know why we always end up with a short hair length than we want. they cant cut to the length that we want the hair grows quite fast then after a few days it'd be longer than our desired length then we need to cut again. so they might as well cut a little shorter so we dont have to go to the hairdresser's every two weeks.

2010-02-28T14:23:00.002+08:00

i WOULD want to move to wordpress. .. it doesnt have nice skins.

2010-02-27T20:51:00.002+08:00

during IH lesson:

someone asks teacher: "then wont we be contradicting ourselves?"

person next to her says: "IH is all about contradicting yourself"

LOL

2010-02-27T20:38:00.000+08:00

"gosh so hot i can swim already"

"if you can swim, i can drown."

2010-02-27T17:46:00.004+08:00

i just got a haircut. i likey (:

SPEAKING OF LIKEY I MISSED HANNAH MONTANA AND THE LIKE. ): ): ): NEVER has time to watch. only last week. or was the wk before?

i think that we're all being treated like machines. just that it's not humans who're controlling us. it's other bigger, more powerful machines.

somehow i also think that most of us learnt the term "ironic" from la lessons instead of elsewhere.

2010-02-27T13:57:00.001+08:00

seeing "Economics tuition" ad on facebook reminds me of this incident:

during ki:

mr low: anyway, i trust that all of your here will be doing econs in jc, so-

me: NOO. *stares hard at mr low*

lol.

2010-02-27T13:04:00.002+08:00

didnt get to do it last year. yeah im determined this year.

no matter how much trouble and trembles it takes.

surprise.

2010-02-26T15:45:00.001+08:00

still remember that time in taiwan when they make us sit on stools to drink the ginger soup.

and i still remember that time during class chalet when we went to watch the sunrise.

warmth from within (:

2010-02-26T15:34:00.000+08:00

i NEED to find some constructive things to do on friday afternoons. man, im wasting my time. at least math is in front of me now.

2010-02-25T22:29:00.003+08:00

crap i always want blogger to remember me but i always press enter just like it's part of my password and then i always dont got the chance to press remember me. how stupid.

today at the hc bus stop i saw -- what seemed like 2 black feathers. OOOH, quill pen potential, i thought. yeah i somehow have this quill pen obsession.. and i even had the faintest idea to pick it up. and among it was such white yellow colorful stuff. and then i saw red. red legs. UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH i screamed. it was a squashed bird.

it must have been there and a bus must have come and neither of them seeing each other and tada, the public 2D sculpture on the road, waiting to horrify any souls who land their sight upon that direction.

well. disturbing is the only word i can use to describe.

u must think i'm evil. why the hell did i just post it here when i think it's so disgusting?

anyway today geography lesson was fun. he mentioned the weather station outside the geo room. and i got inspired and asked him why not we open the curtains so that light can come in and we cant off the lights and save electricity? then he went to pull up the curtains. and he took a long time fixing it. finally he opened two of them and showed us that small wind thingy. then we said we wanted to go out and look at it.

and i think the coolest part was that we all climbed out from the library window directly onto the "rooftop" area with that wind thingy. it was so cool. shouldve taken photo. and he said bringing us out on "fieldtrip" seems worse than bringing pri sch kids out. LOL.

annual earth hour and DoS is round the corner again.

behold.

HAHAHA today investiture was so funny. each time she says "guests", the whole LT echoes after her and start imitating her "guests" pronounciation. it was so funny because it was really loud and the whole LT was literally filled with sounds of the word "guests" everywhere instantly after she says it.

when they say "invested SLs" it just reminds me of stocks and investments and stuff.

AND YOU DO NOT GODDAMN DIFFERENTIATE THE POWER ONLY ONCE. DAMN IT. you DID the example and you differentiated it TWICE and you tell me you only differentiate it once. and when i answered your question as to why was her working wrong, you didnt get my explanation and think i am wrong. and she totally kept us back for like ten minutes after lesson ended. it was recess, damn it. you differentiate it until you get the OTHER expression, for example, if it's a sin, you differentite till u get a cos. if it's a cos, till you get a -sin. and so on. GAH that's why i hate math you know. they try to make it more understandable by introduing confusing elements into the question and most of the time my definition of 'simple" is so different from math teachers'. so i always end up with workings that are "too complicated or redundant and potential sources of careless mistake" where I THINK THAT MY WORKINGS CAN LESSEN THE POROBABILITY OF MAkING CARELESS MISTAKE.

math and physics and chem are the worst now. what's with nomenclature and electrons and WHAT THE HELL YEAH.

i mean, how the hell did the goddamn electron in the cloth and plastic and what not manage to flow to another substance without chemically combining with them or after going thru some chemical process or something how do electrions just flow everywhere they like then what if my fingers are in contact wit hthe keyboard the electrons from my fingers are also flowing to the keyboard la. WHAT CRAP MAN. science and math is all about crap. and inventions and discoveries and everything that's not natural and everything's that BASED ON HUMAN'S SENSES WHICH CAN'T EVEN BE RELIED ON IN THE FIRST PLACE. \

2010-02-24T22:36:00.001+08:00

sorry, that day i didnt mean to go disturb you. i just thought you didnt mind some company but apparently i was wrong.

2010-02-23T22:01:00.003+08:00

i still remember clearly when 100.3 radio said “我是鼠一，我是鼠二，我们祝您有一个数一数二的新年！”two years ago.

and i was totally =.= in the car.

i wanna prove him wrong, i wanna prove them wrong. but the first step is, GET OFF THIS COMPUTER. damn it im gonna turn extreme again. it's the only way.

2010-02-23T20:54:00.003+08:00

today push ups during pe was so funny.

he made us count to 10 while we were up. then we huh....
then the second time, we count faster. and he said "counting has never been so fast" hahahaha
third time, we counted even faster
fourth time, he made us count one to ten in chinese it was quite funny
then count one to fifteen in chinese.
then count from fifteen to one in chinese
then count from thirty to forty in chinese. test our chinese =.=
and the whole time we were just speeding thru the numbers
then he made said "sing the school song"
then we HUH???!!! then we didnt.
then he made us do it again. and some ppl sang. but we gave up.
then we did it AGAIN and this time we sang the whole school song in a horribly off tune manner and it was so funny and everytime we reach the last part of each paragraph we just "la la la la la la la duan lian shen xin". LOL

haha i think that was the funniest pe lesson ever.

2010-02-22T23:06:00.001+08:00

LOVE MY WALLPAPER.

2010-02-22T22:56:00.004+08:00

why humans allow their hair on the their head to grow so long?

maybe to some other creatures it's as disgusting as letting armpit hair grow so long.

HAHAHAHAHA so funny!

2010-02-22T20:21:00.004+08:00

WHOA. i cant believe i used to talk like that in sec 1. back when everyone was still .. so.. naive. and insensitive. and unserious. wish we could go back to that time.

i'd certainly love to give up whatever i have now in exchange for the past.

hm. maybe next few years later when i look thru the conversations again i'll be so surprised i talk like that in sec 4. yeah, and then i was so surprised at some of the things i said..

i was just so surprised. i thought that i had always just been me. didnt know i changed so much. and i hadnt know that whatever in sec 2 was really linked to sec 1. it's surprising how sec 1 year was so influential yet so different from now. dunno how to put it. not in a poetic mood, not that i can be poetic just that i dont feel like emoing and all that crap.

i feel like laughing when i read some of the conversations. i cant believe i talked to so many people in sec1. esp the people whom i thought i didnt really talk to in sec 1. i actually did.

and i realized i added so many contacts in the first few months of sec 1. but then till now, i havent even got half of 412 on my contact list.

2010-02-22T19:00:00.000+08:00

dont know how your name appeared in my dream. freakiness.

2010-02-21T22:01:00.003+08:00

i could consider working at USGS. seems like they can earn quite a lot. that's not my point, but yeah, that's certainly a bonus, so why not.

am reading shan mi he lang hua de xia tian for chinese reading and the shan mi reminds me of chang. cuz shan mi's this boy who migrated to US who went back to taiwan for summer break. haha

math tuition feels fulfilling.

EARTH HOUR MARCH 27 !!! shall start planning.

tomorrow cup design. i've decided. aint nobody's gonna scold me. i feel bad for slacking always during aep. but i really have no time to go shenton at NIGHT and no one's free to video me. duh. who IS free nowadays? even as i am blogging now i am not doing so because i'm free, it's on my to do list as well. now we reach the "definition of free". i guess.

CRAP. ohwell. they'll just have to wait. ..

woah. i need a sheng package to tell people what is sheng and how it looks like and that it can ACTUALLY PLAY A MELODY. lol.

kikki K designs are so simple and so nice. im beginning to like swedish designs. i mean, ikea's from sweden too! maybe i could be a designer in sweden. but i'd be so bored..

wonder why singapore's not as boring as other countries actually, arent they essentially the same? what else do we do here that we cant do overseas? talking to friends?

acrylic paint is getting on my nerves. so are shirts. and dresses.

dunno, but i think graces promotes shopping for clothes with friends. um, part of growing up?

sometimes i just hate to grow up. adults' world is so sad and miserable and full of crap and locks and prisons and anchors and cages and robots money computers everything bad.

2010-02-20T22:45:00.002+08:00

firstly, some cameras make people look FLAT on the both edges. it's damn ugly and i am proud to say my camera doesnt have this defect.

i sound like a bitch. maybe that's what i'm turning into. (thanks to society.)

AND CRYSTAL PHONE IS NOT USER FRIENDLY!!!!!!! gosh i think this is very different for everyone it's no good asking others about a phone's user friendliness, because some people are just more stupid than others. (like me)

买什么最浪费钱?
答, 买只穿一次的晚礼服最浪费钱.
even a three thousand bucks piano aint as wasting.

2010-02-20T19:51:00.003+08:00

they say it's scary how ppl change when they go jc.

duh. now i know. how can one not change after being forced to attend a formal dinner and after more than one whole whole week of stupid orientation "when we cross over"?

it's all planned to change us. in a bad way.

and u know how our school focuses so much on developing leaders? as evidence have shown, exactly because our school kind of over-do it a little, few councillors "on the other side of the bridge" are from our school, and most from other schools. why? because after being leaders in this school, many people have gotten enough of their tiring duties and decided that it's easier and less tiring to just be one of the followers. that's why. so it's not good to get us exposed too early, because we'll still have the child mindset. and their effort goes to waste. that's a pity.

and it's scary to see how one can change in a matter of days. i'm just not used to it. is it really very fun? i've tried but i really really don't like it. so now i have the right to say i dislike it, because at least i've tried. but it's just due to the tyranny of the majority that we just OUGHT to wear a dress for a formal dinner. i think that if the school focuses on "bringing out your best self", it would be much better and happier for everyone than "graces". graces restricts us to be a lady, WHICH WE ARE YET NOT so they dont have to push forward these things. i don't know, maybe it's just that i'm childish. or that i'm like michael jackson.

but anyway make up sucks. the life out of humans. what if i am so ego and says that i already look god damn nice and i dont need any make up? so the boss will sack me? so people will look at me like i'm not wearing clothes? according to my dad, yes.

i might have chosen "tyranny of majority" as my coursework subject if i knew about it earlier. so far this year, it's the best thing i've learnt from LA because i'm finding it applicable to many many things, especially nowadays, especially HERE. within this boundary.

2010-02-16T14:09:00.002+08:00

damn it it's useless trying to explain to you.

when i know exactly what i want to do you must come in and give me some crap ideas that does not in the least sense match whatever i am going to do.

then when i need ideas you just leave it all up to me.

i hate it when i tell you about what i'm doing and you say something and turn it into YOUR project.

2010-02-15T20:50:00.001+08:00

"赵本山来了!"
and the whole house gathers in front of the TV.

that's how influential zhao ben shan is.

2010-02-14T22:29:00.006+08:00

i am so busy these days, that i my mind doesnt even take a break while i shower. in the shower is when my mind is most clear. and then i will come out of the shower with acronyms for the things i remembered in the shower that i have to do later on. then i write down the acronyms, and end up not having time to attend to all of the things.

even though i already spend a lot less time on my blog these days, i still find it almost impossible to complete all my work in time. yeah, IN time, not even ON time. i'm starting to play the piano more these days. and that takes up lots of time.

i wonder why the downstairs TV's sound travels a lot lot lot faster to my ears.

liu qian is on TV now. AGAIN. i will get sick of him sooner or later at this rate. IF HIS SHOW IS LIVE, that means he must have flown from china to taiwan today. wow.

HAHA i remembered one time on TV when liu qian wore this really constipated looking shirt which was all twisted.

and SOME costume artists are REALLY sucky. SOME.

liu qian looks like when he wears specs.

i am afraid now. so afraid. but there's actually nothing to be afraid of, it'll be normal once again. i wont feel a thing. it's just that at this point in time i am afraid. does that mean i am just being stupid? does that mean i am not, just because i am still afraid, instead of feeling normal? or maybe i jst went one round saying nothing at all.

i need to be both more clear and more vague. it takes skills.

skills.

liu qian is getting funnier and funnier.

after so long of not being able to blog my thoughts on my blog, i find it hard to blog properly. but after this post i would have recovered from repression. i am recovered already right now just that i realize one can actually lose this connection with her blog.

wonder who stills reads here nowadays.

if people still do, they would realize how much this place have changed, in terms of tone. it's a sadder place now, aint it?

i have a feeling i'm one tenth on my way to being retarded. i really do.

maybe my blog can save me. or maybe it can kill me. but it's still cool how my life depends on my blog. because it makes me feel like i do not have a life. i dont want to have a life. i want a virtual life. that becomes my blog.

i think i'm still sane now because i recognize what i just said is a little insane.

用谎言来验证谎言, 得到的只能是谎言.

i want to learn zhu yin. it's not that hard once i have the patience AND TIME.

the tiniest things scares the shit out of me. am i turning into an insect?

if i dont have to go to school and do all that FUCKING lot of crap, i'd:
learn jay chou song lyrics
learn carla bruni song lyrics
learn french
learn painting
go and find a taiwanese dictionary
learn zhu yin
play the piano all day
and the guitar
sit in windy and shady places and just think
and stone
and enjoy the wind
i'd
enjoy life more.
or at least that's what i think.
and your reply that criticizes my idealistic thought is so cliche.

who cares about graces camp.
it's the tyranny of majority.
that's exactly what the camp is about.
i could follow the crowd and slack and do what i'm supposed to.
but i know i wont do a good job out of that.
but mostly it;s cuz im lazy to think of what i could do.
are we supposed to have lots of ideas?
how do you expect us to? when you bury us, our creative juices with lots of mark schemes and assignments that you get back only to see "explain?" written all over your paper? i hat emark schemes. have you seen our math and ih papers? one whole page, dedicated to the mark scheme. i hate it when numbers are representatives of our abilities. it is never to be measured. especially not by numbers. words could do a lot better. i rmb someone somewhere said words do a bette rjob than numbers. numbers are dry, words are expressive. i hate math. i hate science. they are based on nothing but our senses and our minds which may totally be constructed, how do we even KNOW it's real. i do not believe in math adn science because i do not think they are real. someone is deceiving all of us with math and science. but how ironic, i cant say that once i say i think someone is deceivin us. anything for that matter.

french sounds seriously nice. i regret a hundred times i quit french.

i want to lose my mind because i am sick of thinking.

this blog serves as a record of how one person turns from normal to insane. i dont want to be me. i want to be my blog.

2010-02-14T22:29:00.001+08:00

i dread jc.

2010-02-14T22:04:00.002+08:00

CCTV 4 has replayed chun wan at least 5 times now. it's so retarded! i bet they never show anything else esides news and chun wan for the whole of today. and im going to see liu qian for the 4th time in 2 days if i continue watching the chun wan that playing right in front of me.

and the only way to make a day feel long is to stay up until after 12, and tell yourself "it's another day!" and go and sleep and wake up and tell yourself "it's still the same day!".

..

2010-02-14T18:20:00.003+08:00

facing some sort of a mid teen crisis.

no longer sees the point in chinese new year.
all the aniticipating, only turning a corner to see another long, empty, dull looking street.
no longer sees the point in doing homework.
no longer sees the point in working hard,
and going to hwachong.
no longer sees the point in achieving my goals
the faraway, misty goals
no longer sees the point in life
no longer sees in the point in racing against time because time will always win
unless i stop
new year- dont run, run, run, stop and listen to your heartbeat.

looking forward to the robot era when you dont have to do anymore housework?
congratulations! you're already there. look no more. for here, we have got all the newest inventions, everything you need, anything you can think of, you just got to sign up, it's simple steps, but no backing out. it's a life time commitment. but we'll help you as much as we can, we'd make sure you'll live a comfortable life, not needing to think about anything else other than how to complete your work on time. everything's given, everything's fixed, you need not waste your time thinking baout useless things. the services we provide are the best you can ask for. everything's done for you, laid out, right in front of you, you can just close your eyes, and we'll lead you through.. trust us. it's a perfect, comfortable life...

i'm such a sad person.

2010-02-14T11:38:00.000+08:00

What was i thinking??

2010-02-14T00:45:00.003+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR.

no festive mood. though on friday it was nice to see people in red and red paper everywhere.

last cny performance in nanyang was quite good.

i just can't find bu neng shuo de mi mi dvd. the version that i want. gosh am i that outdated??!! it's only 3 years back. not like a decade or something. a number countable with ONE hand.

anyway, even though all the teachers tried to give homeworks deadlines before cny, we've still lots of work to do, i've no idea how to finish and mr chang is alr a little pissed at my progress on coursework i better do somehting over this long weekend or he'd be quite mad i guess.

i heard from my foster sis that hcjc is like.. offers a lot more freedom BUT they give you 1 demerit point each time you're late. it's ridiculous. and i heard their SMB is messy and everything. i bet when i go to hcjc, i'll end up suggesting lots of things. i've alr a long list of suggestions for nanyang. maybe i'd ge tthe "most suggestions contributed award" end of this year.

not anticipating.

damn. everyday i will some thing i want to blog about but then when i FINALLY get the time to sit in front of the blogger screen (which is like once is a purple moon) i forget EVERYTHING.
damn sad.

actually, lg crystal not so bimbo. cuz it's QUITE good. AND even my friend (who's a guy) thinks it's cool so i think it's not bimbo, or a guy wont think it's cool. i jus tlike the transparency ness. transparent plastics are cool! internet these days is getting boring. or maybe that's what i feel when i get cut off too long. yeah, that makes sense.

ugh.

FUCK.

so much for happy chinese new year. what about, chinese new month?

2010-02-13T22:33:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD LIU QIAN IS DAMN ZAI.

2010-02-10T11:18:00.003+08:00

taiwan is nice. the movie makes the place seem so shi qing hua yi. and i totally agree with jan's "cultural atmosphere" theory.

we don't have any.

and i do not anticipate anymore. time passes much too fast for me to bear to anticipate anything. it's like, the tape is already fast forwarding and we're still looking forward. is the tape not fast forwarding enough? maybe, sometimes.

why us ut that it's been like that for so long? actually, ever since it started. so i should get used to it by now. but the thing is, we get new ideas and thoughts and experiences everyday and that just changes our views. so. i'm not used to it. perhaps never. but it just seems like, it's the kind.

sometimes i wanna give up on everything. what's the point in eating fast food everyday every meal? no more variety. and unhealthiness. i might as well stop eating altogether. just watching it go by. like standing by the road seeing a truck banging fdown an old lady. i could have pulled the old lady away. but we don't. we just watch it happen and do nothing. or maybe, we dont even see. we're blinded. or maybe like a rollercoaster in the dark. at high speed, we dont have control over therollercoaster it just goes. up and down and fast and slow. and we just let it all happen around us, not doing anything except scream. why then, in the first place, did we even get on to the rollercoaster. perhaps we didnt know of the consequences. but now that we know, it doesnt help either. we can't jump off from the rollercoaster. because we're strapped to our seats, and not knowing how high we are above ground. we'll die.

i like the play from last year. my life is disappearing into another dimension. a non-existent dimension. a virtual one.

and who said philo was sciencey and mathy? i hate science and math. because only misguided lices believe in them. and i do not believe in ki. we're humans, not god, how can we even try to find out the real truth, however far we go, we're still trapped within ourselves. we know that. but we still try to go beyond. but it's so futile.

i am tired of thinking like that.

2010-02-07T09:23:00.002+08:00

there is this old man opposite my block. every time i come home from school i can hear his hair dryer on. and i look, and i see this reflection of an old man in the mirror, who has like 1.5 cm long white hair standing up from his scalp, and there he is in front of the mirror trying to comb and style his hair. and he has no top on and leaves his window wide open. it's quite distrubing to see old man styling his hair when he has almost no hair.

and i had a scary dream. i dreamt that i was going to be assasinated. i dunno how but one night i just seemed to know, but i was rather doubtful, i rmb there was this billion dollar thing going on too. like either take a billion or kill me. sth like that. but i wondered why on earth would my parents want to kill me even if they get a billion dollars. or was it that they were trying to help me end my depression or something. then there was a phone call, and i picked it up, this secretive female voice said "i'm the assasin... so tomorrow morning she'll walk to the mrt.. ." and i freaked out. i think the phone call was meant for my mum, but i just kept quiet and listened on, not making a sound. so i knew someone was out there ready to kill me the next morning i go to school? and i felt helpless. but my parents seemed normal. only that night we went for dinner at a restaurant. but they seemed normal. my grandparents were there too. everything felt so real. i thought i was really going to be assasinated. and i think that was the second time in my life i dream that i was going to be killed. it's so creepy.

soooooo creepy.

2010-02-02T01:36:00.002+08:00

gosh already 1:36am. yes i stayed up to do graces design. now that im done with the final, i need to work on prep work. yeah, we all got it reversed. this shows that prep work aint much of a help, unless it's this huge project that's gonna involve many other people.

my design disturbs me. soething's wrong with the leg and i just WANT to correct it but i cant cuz i used pen AND even if i were to correct it i dunno how to and i may ruin it even worse so. so i shall keep one eye closed for that. but it's annoying. at least im gonna hand in soon.

i might as well dont sleep tonight right.

i thought swans were graceful. but now i dont think so. its neck is not exactl ylong. and its body is so close to the head. it looks so short and squat-ish, how does it look graceful?? what a huge misconception!

2010-02-01T21:54:00.003+08:00

i was thinking of switching to wordpress. then i realized they dont got nice themes, except for one. so i abandoned that great plan. and went to blogskins to search for new skins, i am getting numb to this current one. it's been here for ages. never opened the template tab since dinosaurs ruled the earth. well. and blogskins hasnt changed much. and i didnt bother looking for new skins. too much choices.

and i got to back my comp.

i have a zillion things on my todo. graces. been the same every year hasnt it? i shall write, qin + shen+duan+pu = graces. school will be so happy yeah.

bloody.

harry potter.

HARRY POTTER THEME PARK. i cant wait to go. i wanna WORK there. i wanna LIVE there. i want to disappear into the wizarding world. a quill, anyone? or butterbeer?

-
you know why? cuz you don't need anyone else.

2010-01-31T01:22:00.003+08:00

went to resorts world at sentosa and loved singapore for being so like usa with the singapore feeling.

went to chinatown and hated singapore for being born in the tile period. u know bricks and tiles makes a hell lot of a difference?

2010-01-31T00:50:00.004+08:00

hey guys. greetings from the inside of my head.

well, been really busy these days. i havent really watsed much time on the computer the past few days, yet i dont have time to finish all my homework. and the thing that wastes the most time every night i get home after school is - having dinner. yeah.

and ccas are so demanding now. like i said before, what is moe's expectations of us? at this rate, half of the nyco people can aspire to be professionals at singapore chinese orchestra. what was meant as an EXTRA curriculum activity has now become a compulsory professional trainings. whatever for?

i do not blame this on mrs ee, or any teacher in charge, nor the sls, nor lixian, not even moe. i blame this on the nature of humankind. advancement. advancement may not be so advance afterall, if it only leads to destruciton. i have express this countless times im finding it annoying.

anyway. was happy to do coursework in bugis mrt. thanks to meizhen. (:

funny now i dont have much to blog about anymore. why's that?

OH YES. i have been wanting to say that, the assembly on graces dress buying was completely redundant. not redundant in the i-alr-know-everything way but in the we-do-not-need-to-know-those-stuff way. see, te more we learn, the more we're going to criticize. they tell us things like how to dress to look good. and the next thin we know we're on orchard road, pin pointing at people, criticizing their dress, whispering to our friend tht she has such bad taste and has no idea how to dress herself. what i mean is that this talk makes us more judgemental. and that is bad. because we're16. (or maybe i'm the only one who thinks that 16's a child) we're not 21. people at age 16do not have to start learning all these dressing up and making up stuff. it's too mature and too grown up. where did all our innocence go? how to look better than others?

and you know she had in one slide "how to make yourself look slim". i mean, that's like the worst part because it encourages people to think that their misbelief that "i am fat" is true. come on. it's so horrible. okay, maybe society IS horrible, which i doubt needing to even doubt, or the school's pushing us too much. i know nanyang people tend to look a lot younger/childish-er/less mature than people from other schools. i dunno how. it's a miracle. maybe one day the scientists will finally become mad and say that studying can make a person look younger. but yeah we do look younger. last time when i was in primary school i used to look at secondary school people and think "wow so grown up". but now that im in the last year of secondary school i certainly do not feel so. i dont know, do you feel so? even now i still look at other secondary school people with the same thought i had back when i was in primary school had i not grown at all? not possible. you wont believe the discoveries i made in the last 2 years. but i think you will, because i think we've all grown emotionally but not looks-ly. oh well.

yeah, if you could see the time, it's posted at 12:50 or sth. and now it's 1:07am. how early in the morning!

we'll miss nat. but i feel darn right excited for her.

you owe me something you'll never be able to return. it's not that im such a sadist. it's just that.. i find it funny that you actually owe me one of the most important things i have ever wanted. and among all of the people, you. even you felt sorry afterwards. man i was angry. but we let it go. and now that i suddenly remembered.. ..it's worth laughing at knowing it'll be forever.

2010-01-26T21:28:00.004+08:00

HA.. .. next time people will be born with an email address, or a electrical identity.. so they can be located online, wherever they are, and so they can only have one email address, so they can sign in to facebook, blogger, and gmail and hotmail and everything all at once, instead of needing to switch.

but that's not my point of coming here today. infact, i forgot why.

went to see nat's school online, thought it was pretty cool. it looks pretty and it's a girl school. and it has a nice school motto, which is to encourgae every student to pursue her dreams. isnt that so disney so idealistic?

i hate this wasteful, non-appreciating life. we do the same things everyday. and as i went into the bathroom for the infinityth time since i moved here, i felt as emotionally unhealthy as i would feel physically unhealthy if i ate macs 5 days a week straight. that's how it feels like. it's passing by so fast, we're doing nothing to slow it down, and neither are we appreciating all that we can appreciate. we're just, taking everything for granted, rushing and moving on blindly, not knowing exactly why but just, like a flock of sheeps, being chased around by the shepherd. and how ironic. because shephards are "tutors", in the other sense.

i dunno what. i want to say so many things but yet nth comes to mind. and i dont get why avatar is winning so many awards. it's just a crappily plotted movie with maybe astonishing 3D effects. but hell, i was dizzy and headache enough when i watched the 2D one. it's quite superficial, really.

i think 3 years in nanayng i learnt to crap alot, and tell if an essay is really good or what. so i rea dsome very crappy essays in the newspapers. and wonder how they got published. what, is that why our school's supposedly a good school?

obsolete? but i just dont like functions. loads of functions. aimed at making life easier, happier. but no. what's with all its applications, the screen is a mess. becomes something u need to carefully design or you're sure to leave certain f(x)s out. functions, f(x), math, science, technology, not global warming, not climate change, we die in their hands. we, in a net. trapped.

i would be much happier without a blessed mind.

you are so... weird.

who are you?
i can't find her. lost her in the crowd, in the microscope.
what have you done to her?
wait,
what have you done to her?
what if,
it's you who caused it all?
and that is very likely. or what if,
it's her?
but it doesnt matter,
not really, anyway,
the past is gone with the wind. never
comes
back,
never.

and don't cry, because she'll come back.
because we believe that 201 lives within our hearts,
even though we're not physically together. it has become a habit. it's now a part of us. in fact we dont have to miss it too much. it's all already part of us. we are our experiences.
maybe its just our sincere friendship that moves us to tears.

cheers to natalie.
cheers to 201.

2010-01-25T12:03:00.003+08:00

yay we had nat's farewell party just now!

it was scorching hot.

the cake was so clever, if you know why. am damn damn proud of the cake, though the deco sucks. its just damn lucky i thought of it in time.

anyway, yeah i guess all the hard work all paid off.

and last but not least a big thank you to 201 for making it a success! :D

HAPPY FAREWELL NAT!

2010-01-23T11:14:00.004+08:00

i'm sorry.

but is the society STUPID, or STUPID?

everyone's saying they're so tired so busy but then NO ONE (except for me) knows that it's time for soceity to reflect and take a break from all those never-ending duties commitments chores assignments homework work and etc. instead, EVERYONE ELSE just says "that's how it is and we got to get used to it. because that's LIFE and we MUST get used to it." fine. survival theory from charles darwin?

but ironically, a SOCIETY is made up of HUMANS. so what would it be if HUMANS cant even control what they form? see, a TEAM is made up of humans too. and this TEAM have CHOICES, to win, or lose. they can work together and say they want to win and work towards that, or they can choose to lose and just dont do anything about it. THEIR FATE IS IN THEIR OWN HANDS.

but look at SOCIETY. is society's fate in society's hands? i certainly do not think so. or maybe, maybe our team is SO BIG, made up of SO MANY people, that we can no longer control our fate. overpopulation? or "advancement" in society?

when everyone's saying they're tired, what is humane is to reply "then let's all take a break".

just think of you and a group of people trekking in the forest. all the people in your group are saying "im tired, im starving, i need a break, i need food". and how do you feel, if you are the leader of that group, to ignore all their pleadings and force them to carry on trekking? only a stupid leader, or as history has shown, a heartless japanese commander taking over singapore, would choose to do that because his group members may just die from starving or tiredness. and they will certainly walk a lot slower if they are tired or starving. so it's not EFFICIENT. my grandpa's right. sometimes, in order to do something well, you gotta do it's opposite. you wanna work well? then take a break.

anyway, besides being more efficient, taking a break when we're busy and tired is also HUMANE. we gotta be responsible for human race, we gotta be responsible for our physical self, AND our mental self, for our busy-ness and tired affects not only our body but also our minds. ask everyone, do they want to live their entire life in complete busy-ness and blindness? obviously not. but then again, how many people are actually MAKING AN EFFORT to NOT live their life busily and blindly? almost none, again, except for me.

you say, my idea's too idealistic. too simplistic. and that would be as achievable as communism.
but i say, i just refuse to sink myself in the business of society, and that i wish to see beyond the common heads and eyes to what life to me is reall about.

so if i decide to fight for my right to REST, and my RIGHT TO LIFE, and others are simply too blind and too busy to even realize they HAVE that right, it's completely not my fault that they are still as busy and i bear no responsibility for the others at all. and i am not being selfish, because i have tried to warn everyone, but nobody's listening. so am i wrong just because i am the only one doing the right thing? am i wrong to be the only one who fights for my rights?

and on a sidenote, if the society fails to put fate back into their own hands, it would be as much a tragedy as how the money is now out of control by humans, when humans were the ones who invented it.

2010-01-22T12:56:00.002+08:00

it is now physics. haha and we're in lab 3.
lol feels like in cgs where they use tablets for class.

anyway, just want to say that i am so touched by the 95% attendance for the phototaking during lunch. totally didnt expect so many people to turn up. it is nice to know that the 201 spirit still lives.

i have so much to blog about but i cant rmb anything. well. got to concentrate on physics now.

2010-01-13T21:24:00.003+08:00

HAHAHA MY PROJECT'S CALLED

men... oh PAUSE!!!

lol. though there's no link between my project and menopause. LOL

and wordpress is fun. maybe when one day i'm sick of blogger, i will jsut publish it as a book like adelyn said i could, and move on to wordpress/livejournal. but i guess wordpress. i looks more sophisticated haha. but blogger has like less stuff crowding round on the posting page so it looks neater and it's less distracting. OHWELL I TALK TOO MUCH SERIOUSLY I WILL SHUT UP NOW.

GAH. i realized i havent been to blogskins.com in like EONS. ohwell. i like my skin now so no worries just that, how come that website's so ancient from my impression!! it reminds me of p5. OKOK LISA SHUT UP RIGHT NOW.

2010-01-12T22:15:00.002+08:00

OMFREAK.

i was on facebook and saw this group calle "i hate flying cockroaches" and i decided to go find one that says "i hate lizards."

AND WHAT THE HELL THE FIRST THING I SAW WHEN THE PAGE LOADED WAS THIS GIGANTIC PICTURE OF A GIGANTIC LIZARD WITH TRANSLUCENT SKIN. and i gasped. and i think i will be so horribly disturbed by it that i wont have a good sleep tonight. how could i anyway, seeing i still have 3 items on my homework list?

and to put google to good use, we must know to ask the right questions first.

2010-01-12T21:25:00.002+08:00

this is the first time in one year i put in so much effort for ZUOWEN. now i have side headache. i dunno what it's called cuz i never really had it. i guess its from writing on the sofa. im proud of my zuowen!! (:

i realized one thing about me that hasnt changed since sec 2: i still like to walk and run in the rain. isnt it good to know something that hasnt changed when everything else is changing?

2010-01-09T21:37:00.000+08:00

my dad just made me feel as insignificant as a shit of a fly.

2010-01-09T15:12:00.003+08:00

and i think factories and companies should stop producing so much cute and useless stuff. because production involves lots of earth-pollution so the more they produce the more they harm the earth. AND, DID YOU KNOW, that anything will decrease in value after we buy them?

a thing cost 5 bucks in the mall. after we buy it, as everyone would know, we can no longer sell it at a price higher than 5 dollars, unless we are businessman. why? because it would be considered bought and 2nd hand and no one would want it. so after you buy something and decide you dont want it anymore, it becomes RUBBISH, WASTE. and depending on what material it is made of, it may or may not decompose after you throw it away. or ideally, you could donate. but anyway who would want a cute and useless thing?? you are donating to people in third world countries, do you really think that they will want such a useless thing when they dont even got FOOD? they wont give a damn. so i think, they should stop producing those cute and useless things because it's just a waste of everything.

and the fact that the companies will lose money/not make lots of money, just because a few cute items are now off the product list, is not even an issue because clearly they are targetting at capitalism, which in the first place is a bad thing.

and don't you see how humans have already fall into the evil hands of the god who wants to destroy human race? he has a master plan to destroy earth, and he's making use of our greediness, and capitalistic minds, and OVERCROWDEDNESS to make his plan easier, because then we're more VULNERABLE. it's like hypnotizing us, then he could do whatever he wants with us - which is to kill us all. don't you see? with overcrowdedness as a best example: when some disaster such as a tsunami comes, and there are lots of people at the beach, is it extremely hard to evacuate everyone in time? OF COURSE! the more people, the harder! and it's HARD TO CONTROL. isnt it obvious? it's always harder to control a large crowd! so it's the same. when the god of human-race-destruction finally strikes his plan, we're going to have so may people that there is NO WAY for the authorities to evacuate us because we're SO CHAOTIC.

i dont know about others but this thing is as obvious to me as how continents were initally merged together to alfred wegener. and we should take a hint.