hooray! i've moved! to wordpress! :D

If it's(science and technology) not doing for us what we want, we have a right and a responsibility to change it. Increasingly we have been conditioned to believe that we should change ourselves to suit the technology, and it's been done in all sorts of
subtle ways.

Mike Cooley

i find it hard to commit to a new blog.

we get more and more research type of homework. and it sucks because google's not a PERSON-walking encyclopedia so we dont get results that we want resulting in ahlf a day gone just to research on ONE BLOODY TOPIC we dont quite give a shit about. AND it results in myopia, maybe singapore should reflect on why it has an increasing number of myopia cases in young children?

and the sight of people below 10 using mobile phones is such an eyesore.

if you say "technology makes me smile", i say "technology makes me smile makes me cry"

the blog's gone. i didnt even notice.

poof.

was that the url? if i didnt remember wrong. but my memory's failing me. i'd better go play some memory games. but in my faintest memory i saw the blog somewhere.. after it was "replaced". that skin is still so vivid in my mind.

maybe if we look at ourselves as someone else, we'd like ourselves better.

it's scary how two year's gonna pass just like that. much difference between these 2 same days.

some things that can save the environment:

1. have short hair. saves shampoo and conditioner. and water.

2. write small. saves pen ink and plastic and paper.

the next time you drink plain water, look thru the water at the solid thing below your bottle, or the bottom of your cup.

what do you see?

the solid thing below your bottle, or the bottom of your cup.

exactly!

that only shows how transparent and how clean our water is. almost nothing is as clear as clean drinking water.

today i was drinking plain water from an opaque beige colored cup during dinner. and then it striked me how clear the bottom of the cup looked. as if there was no water between my eyes and the bottom of the cup. only the water made the bottom of the cup look even prettier. and then i started staring at the crystal clear water. i think crystal clear is not a good way of describing transparent things because crystal is certainly not the most transparent thing. but really, the clarity of the bottom of the cup was exactly what astounded me. and at the sight of the bottom of the cup, it was as if a stone hit my head and it got me thinking and realizing what i had never realized before. i realized that water looked so beautiful in its purest state, and i realized that south africans in kwazulu-natal, limpopo and eastern cape may not have such sparkling water to drink. not as 0.0001% as cheezy as it sounds, we're fortunate to have such nice clean water to drink. even to look at. i could just look at that cup of water for the entire day thinking about so many things and appreciating nature.

and i must thank mayxin for bringing me that cup of plain water because i had wanted to drink cordial if she hadnt already taken a drink for me.

although it's just PLAIN water, looking normal and boring, it had sure made a lot of difference for me. and i think everyone else who have access to such clean water should not take it for granted too. sometimes the thing that touches you most is the simplest and most common thing. it's just that we are SO CAUGHT UP WITH USELESS THINGS IN LIFE SUCH AS SOLVING MATH PROBLEMS to notice its presence and to feel its beauty.


the cup of enlightenment.

aish. some teachers dislike me. i just know it. they dislike me because they think i am defiant. they think i am irresponsible. well, over certain things that doesnt matter to me, yeah. and they also think i have a bad bad attitude of can't be bothered-ness.

when we enjoy something, we just want it to continue on, or hope for more and more, without really appreciating the thing itself.

and that's how we drive commercialism, and materialism.

and that's why the world is scary. because we keep wanting more and more of things that we enjoy but dont even appreciate. did u watch cloudy with a chance of meatballs? if you did then you'll get what i mean. at first it sounded nice, having food falling from the skies. but soon after, human's greed for only more and more caused it to end up in nothing but a disaster.


yeah and many times i find i write things which end up meaning nothing at all. because everything is built on the basis that humans want survival. but then after, my mind will tell my thoughts that no one ever said they wanted survival, which is only MY viewpoint that the world might be better without humans.my thoughts tricked my mind into thinking something that is not true. okay nvm.

anyway, the point is, many things i write end up being meaningless.

it's so funny. when she scolded us, we were all quiet and listening. then once in the toilet, we started cursing and slamming doors. and returning looking quite normal once again.

you know, pubic hair's so annoying. esp the down there one. and once, while i was showering, one strand was on my finger, and i tried to wash it off with the water, but it just wouldnt get washed away, and it just stick to your finger like a glued piece of paper, and i was thinking, damn it, even my HEAD hair doesnt have this problem.

and i hate math.

i hope to take h1 math and h1 physics and be an architect. is it possible? cuz i really dont think i cant stand learning this standard math and physics for another 2 years.

they called me defiant. thank them so much.

OH OH! I LIKE THE RAIN NOW!! it's SO DAMN WINDY here! ther windows are open and can hear the sound of the almost literally POURING rain. LOVELY.

and our napfa today was a complete anti-climax.

i have no number sense.

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE TO DO FOR MATH SIA??!

dont even FIND an math article. reflection? i learnt that there's no such thing as math articles, only science articles.

phineas: do i know romance or what!
isabella: what.
phineas: i just said do i-
isabella: yeah, i heard you.

HAHAHAHA

the practicality of learning math?

just ask yourself, what are the chances of anyone needing to ln 5(15) - 28 divide by sin 61 ?

ng eng teng's name is a matter of adding e's and t to his surname.

so i foresee that i will most oftenly be posting a lot every twice in a week- the weekend. this scientist rachel carson is so cool. opne of her books lead to a nationwide banning ot DDTs and other harmful pesticides in USA. AND, she's probably homo. she's so cool.

oh well. i should get back soon lest mr chang gets too angry at me for slacking. I NEED TO FIND WOOD BLOCK DAMN.

had this sudden surge of feeling that it was home.

and speaking of surge of feeling, the speech was so crap. it was minimized to less than one minute when it was to be more than 2 minutes. so many things had to be left out so sad ):

anyway. i think the view from the podium is really less breath-taking than what we would expect. u know, breath taking is a pun cuz from there u cant see the WHOLE of the school population at once cuz the quadrangle is too wide, so the view is not like majestic cuz we think from there we can see the whole school. and because not so many people is in view, therefore it is also not so scary.

sheesh. i fang qi so many homework last night to do the script. and then today i got like so many things that i need to do. its really frustrating.

but now they're all done and therefore i am looking forward to dinner later. but not the concert which will be so cold, and most likely boring since i am not a music person. i really suck at all sorts of music stuff. sheesh. no way am i joining co in jc. even if it means i'll be playing sheng for the last time in my life this july. such a rare instrument. haha.

anyway.

yeah. that's all. math is demanding. really demanding.

have you ever had such a good idea in the night but only to wake up the next morning thinking your idea last night was so foolish you would never execute it.

im feeling like that now. just that it seems like i have woken up already. but i cant give up NOW! i dont want to do this because i have nothing much to say. and there is not better way to express. and i do not like to plainly say something without expressing it because then it would be boring. i am getting so sick of my own work.


but i cant give up now.

sheesh.

the countdown on earth hour website is so cool. next year i want to have one on my blog. i will suggest they give the code for the countdown.

oh wait i think there's a widget. oh well nvm.

sheesh. so many things to do these 2 days. burned out. hopefully it'll be less tiring after this week. must start mugging if i want to reach my goals.

OH MY WINDOWS JOURNAL.

I LOVE WINDOWS JOURNAL.

IT ACTUALLY FITS ON A4 SIZE!

IT'S PERFEFCT!!!!! WHO'D'VE THOUGHT??

IT'S PERFECT! nothing in my life has ever been so perfect!!!


SO HAPPY NOW. i finished the letter to police, proposal AND appendix. within three hours.

feel so efficient and accomplished. had to refrain from going other websites while researching for the letter.

I FEEL SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha these three days many similar (HAPPY) things happen to different people. FOR EXAMPLE, both me and meizhen got our thing approved on on monday and tuesday. and today, both jingting and i feels happy for not being distracted while doing work. it's so cool!

haha seeing i still have 2 other things to do, i will go have my dinner now. shall learn from linsha and wake up at 4:30 to study for chem quiz. i am so determined to sleep earlier now. all thanks to linsha's inspiring habit. haha

"how was bicultural programme?" ?

what the hell. i didnt even KNOW we were all in that programme. it's quite a failure.

-

i find what Jan said to be very true: it's too ambitious to assume science is everything. (on the existence of God)

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i most certainly believe that "green technology" is an oxymoron.

-

to be one. not many.

different, but one.

MY GOSH SO COOL SO COOL! it' sraining heavily and there's strong winds and my window has a gap and i hear the wind sounds and it sounds like a tornado!! i was wondering where the hell the sound came ffrom i thought the wind outside was erally so strong.

pretending to be strong is part of becoming stronger. or so i believe.

a few more things:

1. i bet when mr chang knew that he was gonna be a teacher in nanyang he thought it was such a big joke.

2. humans will never be as good as birds in terms of having shorter travel time.

actually, i realized that no matter how much you try to cherish something, you'll always feel you never cherished it enough, and you'll always end up feeling empty. and regretful. and we'll only end up missing those times. is that how humans are wired? tell me yes so i can get over it.

when you're not on the internet you probably dont have so many things you wanna do. but the moment you go onto the internet you realize there's a zillion and one things you wanna do. suddenly, a name appears on facebook and we go "OH! i havent seen her in a long time i shall go see her photos" and the next moment we're on ebay in the other tab and we see a cute/pretty thing an we go "OH that looks nice!" and we end up surfing ebay and then later something pops into our mind and we go "OH! i'm to check my email for something!" and we log in to check, and then in the midst of checking emails we come aross another interesting mail and we open that instead and read it and 'OH! that seems interesting i'll go look" and press on the link and THAT's how we get distracted with a zillion and one things to do.

haha.


and now the only reason why im not feeling too guilty for using computer at this hour is that i have to transfer photos and since i have to wait i might as well be here.


i think that most of us are living too unhealthy lives such as sleeping too late. go on facebook in the afternoon or morning or noon. 6 people online. check again at 11pm. 30 people online. the same for msn. what's happening to us!!? NO WONDER we're all tired and stuff.

please dont hit my head against the glass of reality. i will shatter.

ki is not easy.

I GOT MY SHIRT!!!! EARTH HOUR SHIRT!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOO!!!!!!

also, yesterday night, i realized that fantasizing about someone doesnt necessarily mean liking her.

joke of the day!!! (yesterday)

a: but i have a DYING DESIRE to know!!

b: oh, really, then let's wait for it to die first.

HAHA FUNNY RIGHT!! it's original!

Who’s to say what’s proper? If everyone decided that wearing a codfish on your head were proper, would you wear one? To me a corset is like a codfish.

i have the weirdest reason why i dont wanna go NUS, or at least said my dad.

don't think so much and you'll be fine.

-

it seems like ytd that we were at suntec city and received a call regarding the return ticket and had to walk all the way to some weird ulu building in an attempt to get a last minute air ticket.

and three months, no, nearly four months passed. and so many things happened in between it's hard to imagine it's really been so long.

it's scary, yeah.

this is the first time i'm using "warped" to describe this odd out-of-earth experience of time. it's so abstract and it makes me feel unreal. thinking about it, the facebook group "2009 went by ridiculously fast"'s photo of a warped clock is a very good representation of my feeling right now. it feels like we've been launched into some machine, something like a washing machine- where you're the only so-called conscious thing, and everything going around us and we're half conscious witnessing everything that's going by, but not really fully experiencing any of it. it feels just like that.

and i really wish i could just step out of that machine and immerse myself in the reality outside and just breathe. yeah, you know, breathe?

no you don't.

and you never did.

and you wouldn't ever.

sorry.

s'pore is as small as a spore.

THE DELIGHT AT RECEIVING HER LETTER!! it seems so surreal once again! all the way from australia!

VAT19 really has the most awesome products ever!!!

but how do photos prove our existence?
and how do they prove our life is not a dream?

because you see, we could easily be made to believe we saw photos of ourselves.

i realize teachers have to be a lot of things. they have to be emcees, traffic police, firefighters, moms and dads, security guards, police on patrol, counsellors, first aiders. it's so cool.

i'd rather go for boring workshops than face the agony of schoolwork.

):

OH OH!
describing alice in wonderland in 2 words: surreally disturbing.

and seriously, tim burton ALWAYS get johnny depp to do the coolest roles. it's quite cute really.

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF FACING BUSY AND STRESSED PEOPLE.

yeah that includes myself.

...
....
.....

too fast for its own good.

the teachers say "we'll continue with that after the holidays" as if there is no holiday.

maybe that's what you get when your block tests are after the holidays, there is no proper closure to whatever you're learning in term 1. it stops abruptly and it's to be continued.


anyway, there IS no holiday so the teachers are right in a sense.

but it was really sweet, back then.

it was only not long ago that i thought word 2007 was new and all that. but it's already 2010 now and i wont be surprised to see word 2010 coming into existence this year.

And if you tell me, I don’t give a damn about survival, then all I can say is “you are the one who was fussing all over the place about survival.”

until now, i have not personally met a appear-to-be-like-human creature who deserves to be called a human.

and it is very sad.

no, i am not sad over the fact that we will all be wiped out soon.

i am thoroughly disappointed with ourselves. because our inability to do something about climate change shows just how much percentage human we are.

it shows us that most of us are 0% human.

and 100% machine.

i realized how disappointed i was with copenhagen climate change conference 2009. do we care about the environment? sure we do. but money still comes first. at this point in time, i really cant express how much i hate the concept of money.

if there was no money, no one would be starving.

if there was no money, technological advancements would not have been possible. but humans will human.

we're all machines. but the difference between me and you (and i have in mind a specific you) is that i WANT and TRY to be human but you don't want to be a human and can't be bothered with what exactly you are- machine or human.

and i wonder how i live with you.

it's so funny. it's satirical. the cities which first grew thanks to the sea will first be destroyed by the sea. this is so smart.

and i do not believe in the concept of money. i believe HUMANS WOULD HAVE lived better with another concept. dont ask me what concept, i wouldnt know, seeing i'm here, a survival of the money-concepted-world. but i BELIEVE innately there IS a way to function WITHOUT money. if u demand an answer, it would be just as ridiculous as me asking christians to scientifically prove the existence of their God and SHOW it to all of us.

well.

and don't think everything else has nothing to do with this. as we have a bigger population, we will need MORE FOOD, MORE CLOTHES, MORE LIGHT, MORE WATER. all of which came from? EARTH. so the equation goes, as the population increases, the resources needed increases. DUH IT LEADS TO ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEM.

AND I FUCKING DO NOT BELIEVE IN BUYING RANDOM BIRTHDAY PRESENTS FOR PEOPLE ANYMORE NO FUCKING WAY BECAUSE IT DOES NOTHING BUT ADD WASTE TO THE PERSON'S HOUSE AND WASTE RESOURCES.

don't BUY things just cuz OH IT'S SO CUTE, OH IT'S SO PRETTY, OH IT'S SO SHINY.

YEAH AND I FUCKING WON'T TAKE ECONS IN JC more like i will learn HOW TO DISRUPT ECONOMY.

even though they in fact are idealistic, i still love how they are so full of hope and so optimistic. it's really touching to know such people exists. yeah, because in my life i interact with way too much machines so remember the existence of machine-like humans who're trying their best to still be humans.

and you know WHAT. WE are the BIGGEST CULPRITS because WE possess more intellect and WE will most likely end up as someone with some position in the future and it's most likely US (NOT ME BUT YOU GUYS) that will direct a company and churn out money and everything economy-friendly.

i DO NOT think that money and economy go together with survival.

seriously, IF YOU WANT SURVIVAL, THAT IS WHAT YOU GODDAMN NEED, NOT MONEY.

because when there's no money, no one will bother about money.

our species is SO SCREWED. we are a goddamn failure of God's experiments. our greed had driven us to exchange TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS with our OWN HUMANITY do you SEE THAT? WHAT ARE WE?? we're BEASTS! in fact, we're WORSE THAN BEASTS. because in order for US to not become cannibalists, we have forced POLAR BEARS to eat its own kind.