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welcome to my blog (: The BLOGGER'S Rights: 1. To blog about any content that is humane. 2. To blog about any content that is not against the law to blog about. 3. To express her own thoughts. The READER'S Rights: 1. To ignore any posts that he/she feels is offensive. 2. To not read this blog if he/she finds it disturbing/annoying/revolting. 3. To give any comments on any contents on this blog. 4. To express his/her own thoughts. I CANT BELIEVE HSM3 IS ONLY PREMIERING ON DISNEY A YEAR AFTER ITS PREMIER IN CINEMAS. they sure gave the fans lots of time to get the DVDs first. but i still wanna catch it on disney channel! hope it has countdown and stuff. yay so awesome. and i am feeling excited for my grandparents already. i am excited too. just a bit dreadful.. nvm. i dont know how. i really dont know how. and what. maybe i should just live with it. and accept it and be happy and stuff. but i want to know first. and be sure. then i'll make my promise. even now i am making a promise. the no-fried-food campaign for me. this is unhealthy. to the mind and the body. but i cant do much about it, except distract myself.
2:39 PM
Sunday, November 29, 2009
SIGH. i miss taiwan. and xiaohan and yijing and yingxin. and the cool cool weather and that after you shower you wont sweat. i dont mind feeling freezing cold in the thotel again. i wanna go back!!! cant believe it, we were just in taiwan this morning, and now, ta da, here i am back at home at my more than familiar table blogging. i dont really feel like i've come home. instead, if you were to ask me to go back to the hotel, i would feel like im home. it was so nice. staying with friends is nice, though there are times when we disagree with one another. but it's still extremely fun. i feel "infinite" in taiwan. then back here, i feel small and weak. somehow. friends really have the power to make one feel infinite yeah. i only understand that now. i really really miss hei mao. yeah and practically everyone else. so much gan xiang i dont even know where to start, so i think i wont write them. but i really love jin e. the jiang tang made me feel so warm. sian. when im home i just think SIAN. i wanna go back taiwan again!!! i realize the 16 days were really good. i would want to live it all over again. and after 16 days, all i can say is, "so fast". it really really feels like just now that we landed in taiwan and met our tourguides for the first time. and i remember that ulu basketball court parking place we went on the first night for dinner. it really doesnt feel so long ago. but 16 days is half a month. time is a weird thing. one could never quite figure it out i guess. the sec 4s go for 8 days, which is half of 16 days, but somehow, the first 8 days before they came just feels a lot longer than the last 8 days. dont know why. so many library books overdue. i better clean up and pack a bit tmr and go to the library. i've lots to do in the holidays i realized.. that's bad. .. maybe that's good too cuz that'll keep me occupied, but that's only if i can even START working on them. i dont want to be occupied thinking about sth else. what a waste of time. love taiwan so much. it's sad that i didnt write a day to day diary of what happened. that would bring back more memories. and we're always afraid that memories in our brain will fade, that's why we have photos, diary, blog and all that. but i think memories from the head is the best. it feels the best when we hui wei. it feels different if we read it even from our own blog. but still, im afraid i'll forget the happy memories. i shall think about them everyday. then maybe i'll cry like dashen. haha dashen. that itself is a happy memory. hei mao is a good tour guide and a good da jie. no matter what. we all love her so much. i feel happy for her that she feels real friendship now. i think it really means a lot to her. we can feel it. and we should be happy that we can make friends with complete strangers in just 16 days, and good friends. i dont think that's something adults can do. feels weird back home. feels like i should be in taiwan at the zhong xin hui guan, instead of here. it's so sad. sometimes when im sad, i'd just let myself feel the sadness of it all, because i think feeling sad is just part of being human, and i dont see why we should block it out.. to me, we should just feel for all we can, after all, that's what being human's all about. feel, and think. i know, but why..
10:15 PM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
YO YO YO THIS IS THE one thousand and 201st post!!!! HAHA SO COOL. i cant believe its only TEN now. i think i scare myself how i buy things these 2 days. HM. we're damn high on the bus man. talk about weird things and then yingxin just laugh at funny things you wouldnt expect her to laugh at! haha i cant believe how fast. the first few days here passed quite slowly. then it got faster and faster. so sad. yeah, i dont wanna go back to singapore because when we do, i got to start on schoolwork and sias and study and stuff and NOOOOOOOOO i dont wanna!!!!!! I'D REALLY MISS BEING IN TAIWAN WITH EVERYONE!!!!! and our tourguide is such a nice person and then we all have fun together it's just so enjoyable. and then back in singapore it's gonna be BORING. i hate boring. ohwell. that's cuz I'M a boring person i guess. she's right. yeah, she's right. she made me realize the significance of it all. but it still doesnt mean anything. zhang lao shi's lesson was very interesting, even though it had gu dian wen xue contents. man, im lacking five months worth of sleep. at least tmr 7am morning call. i'm gonna sleep like a pig when i get back to singapore. man man man NATALIE JUST KILL ME MAN WHY DID YOU SHOW ME THAT KEYCHAIN!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT IT I WANT IT. okay i sound like a bimbo. my luggage might be overweight. and my dad just gave me a very important mission. to get a good enough bag to bring my stuff back to singapore and hopefully to be my schoolbag next year. HAI. why, i feel i have a lot to share but then when i think, my mind is blank. and it feels constipated.
10:08 PM
Saturday, November 21, 2009
yuan lai hua ren zui bu dong ai. HAISH.
11:50 PM
Monday, November 16, 2009
is it MY problem? sorry, but i dont think i'm too much of a problem other than BEING TOO NICE AND TOLERANT AND SENSITIVE (IN THE GOOD SENSE). well. now i know that's a problem. taiwan is great and sucky at the same time. I STILL STAND MORE FIRM THAN MOUNTAINS ON THE GROUND THAT KOREAN THINGS_IN_FASHION ARE OVERRATED.
7:57 PM
Friday, November 13, 2009
my dad said something i found so true. and believe me, cuz if not, i wont even make time to put it here. he said that "the more technologically developed the world is, the more fragile the people." and i really totally agree. i still havent really figured out why. but im thinking, the more we know, and the more we desire, the more we realize the how little we actually have. and well the more we know about all the natural disasters and all, the more we realize how vulnerable and tiny we humans are. that's why we feel more fragile. and i think it's got to do with what my mum said last time, she said that the more "perfect" we are, the more imperfect we think we are. like, through all those technological devleopments, we SEE we can be a certain way, but in reality, we can't attain it, so that's counted as imperfection. the more we have, the more we dont have. the more we learn, the more we realize we havent learnt. i guess it's just like that. i feel quite crap cuz i cant put these thoughts into words properly. but i hope you get the concept. because i think it's an important concept in life, that controls us and prevents us from setting onto the wrong path, the path that guarantees no return.
9:41 PM
wow i just realized i havent clicked on the template button on my dashboard for sooo long! hm, it felt weird when i stared at the html stuff again. ANYWAY, I WENT THERE JUST TO EMBED THIS BUTTON ABOVE AT THE LINKS SECTION. i put it here too because people seldomly scroll all the way down at the links page. ANYWAY, DO SIGN THE PETITION IF YOU CARE ABOUT OUR WORLD! every vote WILL make a difference! this conference on climate change that's going to be held in copenhagen on dec 7-18 really very important. remember earth hour? that leads up to this conference. if we show the world leaders that we dont care, then they wont do anything about it. but do we really want what happens in the movie 2012 to happen to us? so GO VOTE AND SUPPORT! we're to lead the leaders into making the right decision, because it's OUR WORLD and our leaders are representatives of us, so if you care, SIGN THE PETITION AND SHOW THAT YOU CARE because this is the LAST CHANCE to do so. read more at http://www.hopenhagen.org/learn. hopenhagen aims to reach a population of 6.8 billion, which is the population of the earth. that also means that it aims for EVERYONE to sign the petition, well, even if you dont give a damn about the environment nor the earth, but you still do even when you think you do, because that's your ONLY HOME so YOU'VE GOT TO SIGN IT. i'm serious, guys, if WE dont care about OUR home, NO ONE will. and God will probably only punish us for not cherishing what we have! THE HOPE LIT BY HOPENHAGEN WILL NOT DIE.
6:47 PM
i think it is important to feel surreal at times because it calms you down and it draws you away from reality. and your mind goes sort of blank, and you're just in your own world, like you and your soul, and leaving everything else behind. maybe that's what it feels like when we die. but i dont want to think about it. it's too scary. leaving the world and all your most familiar places and things FOREVER. now that's one thing that's going to be forever. you dont believe in forever? what about death? that's why it's so scary. and i used to think im not afraid of death. but man i was wrong. but i wont mind if the end of the world is in 2012 though. just that i think my mum is right, that the world wont end so suddenly, because the world ending is one year as opposed to some millions of years of human races is relatively too sudden. why am i even talking about this? it just makes me sad. i dont know why i am not feeling as excited as most people are about the taiwan trip, which is tomorrow. maybe cuz i never used to like taiwan too much. or maybe i dont miss my buddies that much. either way, i hope everything goes well in taiwan. i feel horrible. i feel so horrible that i think my worries are the biggest, bigger than any of your worries, say, worrying aboutyour luggage exceeding 20kg. and everytime someone complains about sth, it reminds me of my own worries and i end up thinking i'm still the person with bigger worries. i know it might not be true everytime. because to different people, different things worries them. but that's how i feel. that's why i feel horrible and that's why i need to feel surreal, so i can escape this pain. the hp people left this morning. wonder if they're reaching soon. i really like this book im reading right now, it's called the perks of being a wallflower. i like the way the it's written, in a letter format, i also like that the author introduced many books and songs thru the story. have you ever liked a book so much that you dont want the story to end? or maybe you just read the last few words over and over again. or maybe after you finished the book, yo put it down, and stare at the cover. i personally think that such a good story deserves a better cover. and maybe a better title. i still love it though. sometimes i like a story so much i will leave the last few pages for another time. good stories make you feel that you're part of the story, and thatthe story is real. sometimes i would love to think that a story is real because it's such a nice place to be in, even though there are sad partings and all, just like in reality. but sometimes it just feels like it's better a place than my own life. okay, not really a place, more like a world. or sometimes, it just feels like a console that such a person and event exists. somehow.
11:13 AM
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
OH OH!! i just mastered/came up with my own version of the visa card dance!! haha it's such a happy song!! and happy dance!!
5:55 PM
have i mentioned i have been trying to finish using my black ink since the exam period??? because there's SO LITTLE left but i just cant seem to finish it! i bought the ink for aep practiacl exam and u know the detailedness of my drawings, and yet i only used around half of the ink. and this morning, i was left with about 7mm or 8mm of ink left and iwas set to do my geo homework, which is a 7mark essay, and was pretty convinced i will finish using it this morning. BUT NO! i'm still left with 1 mm of ink!! it's so annoying right, like when i want the ink to last a little longer, it'd just finish fast and when i want it to just finish, it'd last forever. i wonder how they work, they just always go against your liking. but i still have to say that my pen had been amazing till now since i used it for so many things and yet it's still inky.
5:39 PM
it's so gloomy these days in the afternoon, even when it's not going to rai. and everything's so still, no wind. but not still in the humid way, just still, with an acceptable temperature and humidity. which is good, i suppose. i just dont like the gloominess. i remember somewhere in the middle of the year, it's always very windy when i walk home from the bus stop after school in the afternoon. every time i walk in the wind, i think, "why is singapore so windy these days?" and tell myself to cherish the wind because that might be the last day singapore's so windy and i'll really miss it. and sometimes when i'm not so loaded with work, i would stand in the wind and enjoy the wind and the sound of the wind hitting against my skirt and hair. or i would sit down by the pillar at the void deck and be there. and i would be happy. that's why i think this year i've sort of closed off a little from the outside world and indulged mre in my own world. and i dont think this is so good because then i would have a lot of thoughts that i cant even pen down in time nd they will be all over the place and as we saw from the movie cloudy with a chance of meatballs, bigger and more might NOT be better. the only time i can be closed off from myself is when there are people around me and when i "participate", like in the book i'm reading. i think it's good to participate more, just so i could balance out my mind a little. i should go cut my nails before taiwan trip. we are allowed to bring nail clipper inthe luggage right?
5:15 PM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
TODAY ON THE BUS I GOT SO INSPIRED BY MINGZHEN'S CAPITALISM PERFORMANCE I CAME UP WITH THE BEST IDEA FOR COURSEWORK NEXT YEAR!!!! secret till it's settled and confirmed. hahahahaha it's gonna be SOOOOOOOOO FUN AND INFORMATIVE!!!! i am SO EXCITED. sorry i just cant contain my excitment haha anyway i feel happy now because firstly, i've got a great plan for coursework and secondly, i've got a good good book to read. it's hard to find a good one these days. i love good books.
8:15 PM
i would again like to bring to your attention to the PARALLEL BETWEEN THE SOTRY OF FRANKENSTEIN AND MONEY AND ROBOTS. we will one day die under our own creations! actually isnt it so true, antibiotics are made by us to kill bacteria but thru the usage of antibiotics what we are really doing is encouraging the growth of MORE RESISTANT bacteria. then they grow stronger and we die due to them. it makes so much much much sense. robots are a definite no. at least to me. and to many other environmentalists and naturalists out there i believe. having to do chores and being tired is just part of being human. are we trying to escape the fate of being human by inventing robots to do our chores for us? but the invention of robots perhaps suggests that self-destruction is also part of being human. cuz how else will human race end, right? i cant decide. but i still stand firm that WE SHOULD STOP FURTHER INVENTION OF ROBOTS. and maybe to destroy all of the existing robots now. you see, robots might be nice at first, since they are under OUR control. but if you foresee, when someday something goes wrong with their system, or something bad happens, they might rebel against us. and then what? overthrow human beings. they will be so powerful by then thanks to who? we dear human beings. so we cause our own death. why do we want to do that? are we silly? stupid? air headed? or just lazy? and want to make a profit by cutting down on labor costs? capitalism. see how everything's linked. in a sad way. i onced asked my parents why cant everything just be cheaper so more people could afford food? and why cant the rich people stop wanting to make so much money so the poor gets some money too? and my dad said not everything's so simple. the rich will only want to get richer because it's part of being human to be greedy for more. the more, the better, right? (yeah right) and my dad also said that if food became cheaper, what do the food sellers earn? and the farmers? they will earn even less, wont they? and the companies who sell these food? a lot less. but actually i think that it's all just cuz people want to be rich and make money and that people are selfish and want only themselves to be rich and not anyone else. and i strongly believe that this is 49.5% of the reasons for starvation, pollution, and everything else that's happening. the other 49.5% goes to overpopulation. and the remaining 1%, if i have not calculated wrong, goes to other small factors. i dont know if this paragraph makes any sense because i feel quite crap reading it. but it kind of expresses what i want to say. i thin kthat as we learn more about human and how the world works, we become more neutral to things, and we accept how everything is. we start to think "what's the point in protesting against it? since it's all in the flow and doing something will just disrupt the flow instead of helping the world." MAYBE, it's is more mature for us to know that we should just accept the world the way it is,or MAYBE, it's more mature for us to differentiate what are the things we should try to change, and what are the things we should try to accept. i think it's the second one. there's balance to everything, and dismissing EVERY issue as "it's jsut part of the flow so i should just accept it" is certainly not a solution. i just found another reason why everyone should stop smoking. EVERY SINGLE SMOKER, YES.
7:06 PM
one thing about you that hasnt yet changed is that sometimes you are not sensitive to others' feelings. you can easily bring down the mood of the entire group. but you dont care. you go your own way. you have reasons, sure. but what about the others? what do you expect them to do? it might be apparent to you what the others should do, maybe comfort you, or talk to you, or ignore you, or drag you, but we are not transparent and we dont know what each and every else is thinking, so firstly, don't expect us to know your needs. i say that because everytime we seem to fail to meed your needs, you change your mind immediately. and sometimes we dont even know why. and i bet you didnt know that sometimes how you phrase your words can kill the atmosphere or hurt others. when everyone's happy, you do not ask "what's the point of coming here" with a bored voice. we can ignore you. of course we can. but then what will happen to you? sulk. and then maybe walk away without telling anyone the reason you're leaving. you leave us puzzled in the bad sense. and you blame us for not understanding. and you do not exclaim something rude in front of a canteen stall auntie who's nice and tried to serve us all. you didnt see her expression when you said that, right in front of her. RIGHT in front of her. i was shocked one could do that. maybe you felt cheated and thought that was a complete waste of your time, but did you know that loud exclaimation could hurt the auntie? or offend the auntie? it's not like SHE's the one who made you queue there. and it's not like SHE's the one who REFUSE to have it available. you might have had a hard life. you never shared it with anyone that we know of. fine, we respect the fact that you want to keep that part of your life private. but if you dont say anything to us, and you expect something from us, i dont see where the logic is. sometimes i feel you are a little bipolar. yeah, xiaohan might be right, we use the word bipolar to describe anyone with bad tempers, or sudden mood swings. i dont know which one of these are you, but i think bipolar is a pretty adequate word to describe already. you can be suddenly high at one moment, then the next, walking away alone, bottling a surge of anger. i dont know when you will finally become more sensitive to these feelings and emotions of yours and how they can negatively impact others, and i dont think i have much right to say that because im not your mum or anyone who has authority over you. i think it's just for your benefit, and for everyone else's too.
6:42 PM
Monday, November 9, 2009
WHAT?! the last time i saw, i had 1171 posts! and now it's 1184?! man do i blog alot. i have nothing better to do yeah. watched cloudy with a chance of meatballs with xiaohan yijing nat weiqing nicole. the movie makes me hate science even more. and it told me one thing: TECHNOLOGY CAN NEVER SAVE THE WORLD. even if it does, it's when technology destroyed the world in the first place. it's not even an opinion. it's a fact. to me at least. and if one day i were to become influential worldwide, this is what i aim to make people think. but still, what thing doesnt end with self-destruction? and human race is not an exception. so maybe we have no choice. and that leads to - then why bother to try save the world? to postpone the end of the world? what's the point in that? that's true. what's the point in delaying the end of the world? im having a conflict with myself. but no matter what, i strongly believe that it is nothing but ironic for technology to save the world because the end of the world, from a 21st century person's point of view, is most likely to end due to technology which leads to pollution, global warming, ice age, end of human race but not the earth. i think my long sentence made u confuse about my point. my point is, it is ironic for technology to save the world because technology is what caused the destruction of the world in the first place. now that should be clear enough. so yeah. and also i realized that when i have many things to do, i wont do anything. this is called the reverse psychology. i dunno. for example, i wanna read, learn architecture, find lyrics, blog (okay this is one thing i'm doing that's good), learn to sing nobody the korean parts, find songs, download photos, and yet im doing none of these things but to list them down. but that's thefirst step to starting on any of these i guess. see, i just blogged. that's a console. oh yeah actually guys are quite sad. they only have 2 options to their hair: do nothing and look boring, or, style it and look qianbian. i pity them. but i think they might not deserve my pity since they think they look so cool with the styled up hair. (wow, do u see, i expressed my sympathy towards guys AND managed to mock at them at the same time by saying they dont deserve my pity. hahaha so fun)
7:09 PM
so last minute. sorry guys!! ytd was another fun night. attended the nygh parent support group appreciation dinner. not like my mum did a lot beside bao-ing jiaozi every year and looking after wangqian. but it was fun. the emcee was funny. and according to miss yap, she has to give a surprise speech everytime she attended such things. i guess principals must be really good at impromptuing with pc paragraphs. lots of clapping again. my poor hands.
10:09 AM
Sunday, November 8, 2009
photos i've been wanting to post and share: i'll leave this for you to interpret on your own. um side note, this is all colored by CHILDREN from KINDERGARTEN. (who has no idea of the rainbow flag yet.) in case the picutre isnt clear, the top book says: dont say a word. saw it at the library, they were in the same shelve! wonder anyone else noticed. haha
3:03 PM
we are a completely different species from the guys. they are all the same to me. act cool boh cool by wearing what campus superstar contestants would wear. styling their hair in the not-anywhere-near-cool-more-like-hundred-percent-QIANBIAN style. man, boys are so immature our age.
1:00 PM
Saturday, November 7, 2009
so many farewells. it's only during farewells that i realize that life is full of love, especially when you're in NANYANG GIRLS HIGH SCHOOL. it is because NANYANG is the place where i became part of 201, aep, nyco, the foster parent/sister program and it's thru these that i realize how life is full of love. (and it's SUCH a comfort to the drama fest's first 4 plays) for example, i love miss yap's farewell, the sec 4 prc scholars farewell, the nyco sec 4 farewell, and the level closure. i dont think anywhere else they will put so much effort into such farewells and i feel really really lucky to be part of all these. it means a lot because their effort shows that they CARE and really LOVE one another. nanyang has this whole foster parent thing for prc scholars and it just shows how much the school really care for the scholars. in contrast, and really no offence intended, schools like rgs does not have this kind of thing. i have come to believe that certain things (like caring for the prc scholars) are not for show. the prcs have a hard time adjusting to singapore and i think understanding that and helping them with adjusting is a very very kind and sincere thing to do. and i feel really touched by how these humans think and work, the principals and the teachers, the parent support group for organizing activities for prcs and foster parents. to be one of the principal/teachers/parent support group member it takes lots of sacrifices and care and a huge huge heart, and to be one of the recepient of such love and care takes a lot of blessing. it's like from the smallest things like wearing pink for the principal that we can see the human side of human. or even it might be just for the fun of it all, celebration, farewell, it's still human. humans can be so human i didnt even know of. i feel really really lucky to have whatever i have and be part of whatever i am part of. although it may shock you, but i think i really really love nanyang a lot. it brings so much love into my life i never ever dreamed of. such as nyco, where you feel you really belong. and 201'08, the most bonded class in 2008 of our cohort. and it's also a blessing to have a foster sister and to be able to attend so many farewel ceremonies, though farewell is a sad thing, however, that's how we really feel the love. and the aep anniversary thing which made us feel so together and special even if it's just for one day. we sure had lots of fun. and just walking alone in school today made me feel nostalgic because i know i'll miss the campus because i have lots of fond memories of the nanyang school days. and im not even a sec 4 yet. today's sec 4 prc scholars farewell/graduation made me realize after tmr, we may never have the chance to drive to the boarding school and pick up my foster sister and my other friend together for an outing ever again. although everything has its last time, but thinking about it makes me feel very sad. they'll be moving on to jc and one will be in rjc boarding school, and the other in hwachong boarding school. it'll be hard to meet them again. it's too late to regret that i havent cherished the time spent with them so i'll just have to cherish it tomorrow and write my foster sister a card, with meaning and love that i have no idea how to put into words. today's event also made me decide that the prc scholars deserve a well lot better from us. some people might think that this last week of school had been a complete waste of time and effort. but to me, it's the most important part of this year because this is the week i learnt and saw for the first time, that there is really so much love in life, that there ARE people who truly care, though they may seem cold on the surface. i love nanyang and nyco and aep and 201'08 and 312'09 and there's nothing more i could ask for. it's really true, we dont cherish something until we've lost it, or are about to lose it. so what im going to do is to create a faebook group called "though i may not appear to like nanyang, i really love and appreciate nanyang from deep within". haha just to end this post on a lighter mood, cuz i'm like super super sad now. TRUE FANS of nanyang please join!
6:47 PM
Friday, November 6, 2009
it's so sweet that the teachers tried to wear pink for today's farewell. and it's so cute too. like what nice innocent friends would do for one another. i bet when the previous principal left, there was no such farewell events. maybe a small speech, but this one has really lots of effort. it means a lot to me (no that im the principal) because it shows the human side of human, since all these are voluntary. and singing of songs are very touching too. i bet if i were a sec 4, i would have cried. i would next year if they play some sad slow song. when i walked out from the science block into the linkway, i felt this surge of i dunno, nostalgia? cuz it's like the last time im taking that route. this year passed very quickly. i remember CLEARLY the day we ore hwachong uniform and cried as a class, the only class that cried. it was so sweet and so sad. and i also remember very very clearly the first day of school this year. and i remember the times earlier in the year when i walk across the grass patch thinking that im gonna walk on this grass patch a lot from now on or something similar. then suddenly, BOOMZ. (wow im actually using that word) it's the last day of school. it's unbelievable. this year felt like a week, at most a month long. it's actually quite sad, that it's our last official day as a sec 3. and next year we're gonna be senior seniors and it's really really scary. but on the bright side, many things await us too. so just focus on the coming stuff i guess. and i figured we dont have to be envious of our juniors just because they're still in sec 2 or sec 1 and get to enjoy another 2 to 3 years in nanyang or get to enjoy unstressful life or whatever it is that we may be envious of them of. because they go thru the exact same thing as us. just later. it's not like their sec 2 or 1 year is any longer than our's, it's just that we wish we were STILL in sec 2 and didnt have to move on. i just realized this quite recently. we had been cheering a lot recently. or maybe just me. i figured that at the level of my hyperness, i could totally be a student councillor. i cheered for all the events. even when the councillors wasnt cheering. level closure, farewell, speeches, david gan, mr jeffrey low and all that stuff. i am so totally high today. i feel high recently. what's wrong with me?? im usually not that noisy. and mingzhen sat next to me during level closure that';s why we were cheering like mad for 201 and 312. it was fun. then we were bobbing to the music. like, BE in that happy moment man! that's when you we the chance to be high and we dont, it's gonna be a regret! so just switch to "high mode" and GET CRAZY! oh yeah uh huh oh yeah haha can totally imagine lisa he saying all these right. actually, i dunno why you guys say that. because i can only read my blog posts in my head. when i read it out aloud, it sounds weird. and feels weird too. although in my head i have all the intonations and everything. really. im so gonna get sore throat if i dont drink enough water these few days cheered damn lot let's count: (in order of which comes firs tto mind) 1. drama fest 2. level closure 3. farewell in hall 4. aep anniversary 5. dont forget the lyrics nanyang version 6. CO sec 4 farewell this week is SO FUN AND INTERESTING. i totally love the last week of school. fun activities from monday to friday. okay okay for me. and on the train i was telling huipin and yingxin that friday has come yet AGAIN. i remeber more than clearly my sentiments last friday: it's friday again! and it's gonna be weekend tmr! time is accelerating at a speed beyond description. (how ironic, everytime we say "beyond description", it self is a descrition.) and it's the first time im getting so worked up by a PRESENTATION. THEN WHAT THE HECK ARE U DOING HERE LISA????? I REALLY REGRET NOT TAKING PHOTOS I WISH TOOK. like photo of the grass patch in front of our class, like the atmosphere, like during lunch times, 313 and 314 will be having lunch on the steps, and even though im not part of their classes, it still adds to the whole familiar atmosphere. yeah.. and i wish i took photos of C and D fundraising and drama fest this year so i could contrast them, their difference in atmosphere during intermission. u really should have seen. this year, no one else was giving flowers, giving hugs. it was all serious and empty. it's sad. it's really sad. we petition to have C and D night back. and why deprive sec 1s of acting on stage yeah?? hey on a side note, the councillors were more than happy that i supported them by buying second hand textbooks from them today! i feel happy too! happy happy day! the candy making is so cool. and so unhealthy. im turning into a health freak. and this was SUPPOSED to be a quick and short post. look what it's become. that's what happens when lisa he doesnt blog for 2 or more days. yeah and okay okay one last thing, a funny thing i thought of on the bus: a short tall story. figure it out. hahahaha i laughed like mad. AHHHHH ONE LAST LAST LAST THING I PROMISE. THANKS TO ALL 201 PEOPLE WHO CAME TO TRACK THIS MORNING! THAT'S WHAT STARTED THE HAPPY DAY! AND IT REALLY MADE MY DAY. TWO ONE WILL STAY ON FOREVER AND EVER. AND EVER. this years level closure reminds me of nothing but last year's level closure. it's so different. and i now have a very very fond memory of the last week of school of 2009.
6:43 PM
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
IT FINALLY OCCURRED TO ME WHO MR SIM WAS ACTING AS: VAN GOGH WITH THE BANDAGED EAR. gosh i cant believe im THIS slow, only realizing it during DINNER. it at first looked like a pad. ( sheesh i know it's gross) but man seriously TODAY WAS A BLAST. first the foa concert, then the dont forget the lyrics where we screamed and sang damn much and the MUCH LOVED AEP 25th ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION! WHOOH! TODAY'S THE BEST! I LOVE LOVE LOVE NYCO!! and even though nyco's like the first and only orchestra i've really played with, I STILL BELIEVE THAT OUR DEAR MRS EE IS ONE OF THE BEST CONDUCTORS ONE CAN EVER ASK FOR! many says she calm and composed, which i agree with and also look up to, and think that she's really understanding and just cool. actually, i think that all teachers in the aesthetics department are AWESOME. they come up with the funniest and most interesting stuff like how htey went about preparing for FOA and AEP anniversary. and the occasional inside jokes mrs ee shares with us. they give me the impression that they have drifted away from the old concept of being a teacher - being strict and a little inhuman, and instead has become like one of us. like they cheer, and prank, and do weird stuff, and tell lame jokes, and get high, and go wild etc. it's really cool. there's so much i want to say and there's some i dunno how to put it, there's some that i shouldnt say, and there's some im intending to share if time and space and internet allows. my brain is going haywire with so much. i just wanna blog about aep anniversary cuz it's so great i wanna "document" it. haha, still in the hssrp mode. we first gathered in conference room. and sat at our groups and lucky for us, our sec one groupmates were VERY outspoken and i decided to be friendly and outspoken and you know how mingzhen is like and we have my mortal so she and her classmate from 201 werent shy to talk so our group got along very well and we joked and stuff. yes yuxin, THAT was certianly one of our bonding topics. haha i bet it would be most groups' too!! it's just SUCH a good bonding topic yeah! watched a video of teachers who were past aep students being interviewed. nice video. funny. had mrs tan and mrs tan, nick ng, mr lim and gan, mr sim, chang in mono lisa painting, and his tongue was like all over the place it didnt match what he was talking it WAS SO HILARIOUS!! mrs teo was like transclucent at the beginning LOL with the nanyang flag going behind her. everyone was tlaking about her being transparent. haha and our inside( the conference room) joke about someone's dignity. LOL then we drew on a mahjong paper, starting with some squiggles then a given theme. we had retro. i dont even know what that means. and ours ended up looking like bullseye and it was really FUN. then was pictionary and we all got very excited about guessing correctly and when all fails we just came up with the most retarded things and laguhed so hard about it. the best was the miss yap one! HAHA I LAUGHED TILL I FELT I WAS CRYING! and took a photo of it. (i realized i should take more photos of events like this so i could remember these fun times) and mr gan kept saying "i know what you're thinking: zhe yang ye ke yi ah!" HAHA which was true! the pro-est one i've seen was a circle and some spiky thing round the circle and a "LION KING!" haha that was damn fast. and then i "spoiled" mr gan's good luck thing cuz i couldnt draw the BEAST. man feel so fail. so fail unti li fall onto the FRICTIONFUL floor, giving up. pictionary was lots of laughing and screaming and scribbling and guessing and cheering it was really really fun. everyone kind of like bonded, and start laughing to one another despite the fact that they dont even know one another. then was sova quiz and our group was so damn cute we held hands so we would all stand up together when one of us knows the answer. we held hands throughout the whole quiz! and then many times we stood up when none of us know the answer! then we'd laugh and sit back down. so retarded but so fun. went for tea break, where they had good food! had enjoyable time eating and talking. and the wood block painting was fun too. i felt like a machine, because i did one in like 5 minutes. and started on a second one. i did jackson pollock for the first one thats why i was so fast and i really liked it! it's two flat square blocks put together. cool right. haha then did one on a panorama view ofthe sea and the sky, on the 4 long sides of the square wooden box. and a weird moon/sun thing on the top. our juniors' blocks were very pretty. one of them did a really nice gradient showing the sky and a field or something. and i like zhuhong's pointilistic and impressionistic style. mingzhen's reminded me of affandi from the top but the sides are quite cool cuz it's like dripping paint. yeah. i didnt manage to see all the wooden blocks put together on the table but that must have looked MAGNIFICENT. the colors themes made them looked neater as compared to if we could have used any color on a single block. then mrs teo came and gave a short speech on how we're the first school having this kind of celebration, and that it turned out really well ( AS WE CAN FEEL!) and so the teachers are all very satisfied and happy and she said they spent lots of time organizing it and they went to such extents to be someone in a painting and that makes us feel very special and loved. nyaep's made up of like about a hundred people and it'd be nice if everyone more or less knows everyone else and have fun together like today. prize presentation after mrs teo's speech. we did the drum rolling thing on the table for every single prize. haha damn loud. OUR GROUP WON THIRD FOR PICTIONARY AND QUIZ COMBINED! then guest of honor mrs chek and mr lim kok boon!!!! everyone cheered like MAD WHEN HE CAME IN!!!! gosh do we miss him! very very sadly, mr gan'd be going soon too.. hope he'd drop by often thhough!!! and then took LARGE group photo. all stood on the tables! haha so cool finally get to stand on the table with permission lol. so many people that chang and mr lim had to sit on a LADDER to take our photo. I WANT TO BUY THE PHOTO!!! (i currently have nyco syf photo, and i really hope to get one 201'08 and one aep2009 photo. and hang on my wall. that'd be enough for i think three years. the best things in 4 years of secondary school.) and dismissed at 6 thirty that was late. on the way to the bus stop we waved like the chinese dance to yuxin. haha damn funny. when bus 67 came by we walked in a line and did the wave again and we laughed like shit. it's like the first peron in the line waves a big circle with her arm then the 2nd , then the third and so on. and we had 5 people so we could do a nice one! haha so funny and retarded. today was a lot of cheering really. for dont forget the lyrics and aep especially. cheer every single time mrs teo finished a sentence in her short speech. LOL. cuz she made it sound like we're so good and stuff. and anyway we were so high by then. SUCH A DAY WELL SPENT. LOVE TODAY MANXZXZXZXZX. haha. i just drew this big heart on today on my 201 calendar. love love love love love love aep and nyco
9:41 PM
Monday, November 2, 2009
i dont know what life is turning into. what, having dinner at 9:15pm?? and dinner equivalent to fastfood EVERY weekday night?? like driving there in 5 minutes, order in 2 minutes, wait for 7 minutes, gulp down everything in 15 minutes and drive home in 5 minutes? WHAT'S THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE FROM FAST FOOD CULTURE THEN? REGARDLESS OF THE ACTUALY FOOD YOU EAT! yes it maybe CHINESE food but the WAY we eat it is like they're pizzas, fries, ice cream. FAST FOOD CULTURE. EVERY WEEKDAY! i am so sick of it. those of you who have people TO COOK DINNER FOR YOU EVERY NIGHT YOU REALLY SHOULD APPRECIATE IT OKAY. we DO NOT like going to the sichuan 3 out of 5 days and eating almost the SAME thing EVERY SINGLE TIME and like, roam around, like some homeless people, not sure of what to eat and even WHERE THE FUCKING HELL TO SETTLE OUR NEXT MEAL! eating out once in a while is good. but do it everyday it's like HELL. espeicially when you've parents who come home at like EIGHT OR NINE EVERYDAY so you only eat at EIGHT OR NINE EVERYDAY. and the worst thing is, WE ARENT EVEN IN CONTROL! now you must be thinking: SINCE YOU CANT CONTROL THEN STOP COMPLAINING YOU FUCKED UP PERSON. but THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I WANT TO SHOW YOU THAT LIFE, NOW, IS SCREWED UP! my parents cannot CHOOSE to come home early just for dinner everyday, they'll get sacked. and they cant go without jobs cuz then we'll practically be bankrupt or whatever and we practically cant live. unless we go to pulau maigo or something. THE WORLD IS SINISTEROUS. if there's such a word. and and, u know, i said that its not within our control? but ACTUALLY, IN TRUTH-REALITY, EVERYTHING IS WITHIN OUR CONTROL BECAUSE LET'S JUST RECALL, WHO THE FUCKING HELL INVENTED MONEY IN THE FIRST PLACE?? and sleeping everyday at 12am? then waking promptly at 6am? sleepy, half conscious, washing up, dressing up, walking to the bus stop not even taking in the nice morning air and looking at the night before-dawn scenery? that may sound a little idealistic. but COME ON. EXAMS ARE OVER, WHAT, WE DONT GET TO RELAX A LITTLE? fine, I chose to sleep at 12. I chose to swake up at 6. I chose to live in jurong instead of right smack next to the school, if not, IN the school. yeah i know, it's MY choice, right? here im complainging about something that I have control over. and it's RETARDED but at the same time it's only a bridge for me to GET OVER (IT'S A PUN) to the other side and start a more HEALTHY and UN-SCREWED UP LIFE! and using the computer doing NOTHING productive until my eyes ache like im sure im gonna add a hundred degrees to my specs this year? i'm really just kidding myself. i mean, where's the run in the rain time? what happened to reading books? painting? watching the tv? skipping ropes? what happened to LIFE WITHOUT THE COMPUTER? and how come i didnt know singapore has become another new york or tokyo? remember this, if new york is a city that never sleeps, then tokyo is a city that never STOPS. reason why i HATE HATE tokyo and NEVER SAID I LIKED USA CUZ OF NEW YORK. yeah? and WHATEVER HAPPENED TO LIFE ITSELF???? i think that's a good question. because to many of us, life has long disappeared, gradually, and unknowingly. i'm not doing this anymore.
9:42 PM
i am soo tired.. couldnt help but nod off on the bus just now. i almost wanted to tell the lady inside "if ur alighting just hit me". well i didnt. i was conscious enough to feel she was alighting. aish. chang talked to us damn long, till my shoulders are so pain. my bag's damn heavy today because of my laziness and procrastination. i didnt clear my desk when i was supposed to one month ago and now i bear the consequences. tmr still have thick thick physics file. my msg is better than expected. though still below average, i'm really happy already. finally got A for LA. FINALLY. after ALL THESE YEARS. sex ed today was weird, funny, and a shitload of crap. im like, why the hell are u telling me all these ways of saying no it's really weird to actually PREPARE to say no because i dunno, i just find it weird. turns out i was a lamb (CAN U BELIEVE IT, ME, LAMB??? no way.) but still had to go thru torture. and jan just HAD to book me. jan. debater. "so im not going to beat about the bush and all.. let's have sex" or something like that. "i am gay." a burst of laughter, everyone thinking i just gave an excuse to avoid sex. she decided to be a girl. she knew my case. and after a LONG while of staring at her debating to herself on why i should have sex with her, it hit me hard: girls cant technically have sex with each other. so i said that. "but they can. something called finger sex" "yeah that's finger sex! then what's the big deal cuz it's not like im going to get pregnant or get STI from finger sex right" so i literally said okay to gay sex and the teacher said i passed the test. funny. wow im not so tired anymore now. i figured something some time ago. when u feel like sleeping or dozing off, just think about something, philosophical, or anything that requires lots of thinking. but i was too tired to even think. i think the talk on male/female brains is partially right for me because my mind NEVER stops. im like too tired from thinking already. i have too much access into my own thoughts, that it's overwhelming.
6:59 PM
Sunday, November 1, 2009
it's november already. it's so fast. this morning as i sat at the kitchen table i was thinking that about a year ago from now, we were all so depressed about 201 separating. and now we've not only got over that depression, we've gotten used to our new classes. it's been a year but it really really doesnt feel that long. what does a year even mean now? i miss 201 a hell lot. speaking of 201, why didnt we get to get our class photo last year?? ):
11:21 PM
i'm so proud of our hssrp! really enjoyed doing it.
7:10 PM
got a quite terrible haircut. everything's good cept it's too short. gonna post pictures of my halloween decoration soon. and my soft toy peace day. haha. they're so cute. i love my tablet. it's so flexible. get to turn 360 degrees and if i wanna rest my eye and still listen to music, i just have to turn the screen away, it's SO CONVENIENT! haha i really wonder what other families do on weekends.
6:51 PM
doing (no, more like beautifying) the hssrp powerpoint and ENJOYING EVERY SECOND OF IT. because it all flows and go together and it's all so nice. it's certainly not as good as what jeza would produce but im happy enough that it's sinuous, not like it's a line anyway but still enjoying doing it. yes, every second of it.
4:02 PM
Yours Truly To put it negatively, I am just yet another human being on this badly overpopulated and ruled-by-money Earth, but on the bright side, I am proudly from 201'08 and I love 201'08.(: I love my CCA.(: I have big dreams.(: I believe in Squigglerism.(: I like using the penknife. It is convenient and neat.(: I am more than glad to be in Singapore, letting me be more than satisfied with life.(: Exits
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